The Play - Magical Mystery Tour Revived

(Part Two of the Magical Mystery Tour Revived)
(Posted January 25,2020. Part One you can read here.)

How it played ....

A family tradition that was revived last night goes to show that we do make a difference in our kids lives. I have always felt that all the love and effort we put into raising our kids comes around full circle! There are no rules on how to parent and we always just did so from the ❤️ heart.

We felt the love right back.  We came home with a new family hashtag #cellylikeakelly

4pm and it starts with an IPA and a couple very creative clues carefully written and presented in numbered envelope. Later the clues kept coming; using audio texts, code breaking challenges and word problems! We explored Gastown, Vancouver hitting many of the local spots and despite the uncertainty of the unknown, it was an absolute riot.

We even got iced! 

3 clues and a puzzle we discover our destination 

Escape room - Smartypantz  

Crazy creative hockey caper 

Awesome dinner and drinks at Calabash  

Puzzles and Beer 🍺 confusing 

You guys got us big time ❤️

Our hope is that the tradition continues and that others start one in their own families.

#ThePowerofPlayfulness 

Just keep showing up.

Just keep showing up and I don't mean in your new shoes with your hair curled.

Showing up is hard sometimes.  We all show up to life, the party, to work and to others in so many creative ways.

I know, because right at this moment I pushed aside my fears and uncertainty to dig deep so I can share my thoughts and show up here at TheBoomerVine.  Knowing the value of being honest and being real was what gave me the courage to sit back down to write here.  

I want to show up for those that need me.  I feel compelled to share my thoughts and fears and uncertainty that I face everyday as I go about being a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur and financial contributor to the family, thinking that I am not alone as we age through this process.  It's been a long time since I sat to write here but there has been so much going on in my mind, my life, my work and in my family.  All the energy that I had was spent elsewhere, not writing here.  

I've missed it.  

The big question is "Who is it that we are showing up for anyway?"

Sometimes I can't show up here because I just don't have the energy.  As an entrepreneur I am often deep in thought or processing an opportunity that somehow appears before me.  Rarely is it such a big idea that it wants to pull all of my energy towards it but recently I let it.  Any energy that is left is then shared with what is right in front of me - my priorities.   

My priorities are for my self and my family.  My incredible family whom without their love and support, I wouldn't have the courage to continue on this journey of self-discovery during this shift in midlife. They encourage me to speak from the heart because they know it is raw, yet authentic and that the messages are to be shared with others on this same journey who are not as confident and also looking to live a meaningful life with more purpose.  It is no secret that some of those in society today are running on the hamster wheel filled with so much guilt they can't even articulate it. They have no time to stop and reflect but perhaps they know what the outcome would be if they did.  Not always pretty.  Maybe they are showing up for someone other than themselves.

I give credit to the ones who have the courage to step out of situations that hold them back (going against the scripts); be it a job, taking a break from university, or from a relationship that forces them to show up for someone other than themselves.  Years and years of this routine can be devastating to our health and others around us unless you have found that balance and living a life you helped design.

I was asked the other day "where do you lose your power" which digs right down to the core uncovering situations that hold you back from being the authentic you and perhaps living a more fulfilled life.  

This has nothing to do with feeling any regret for my past but this is all about showing up during the rest of my life with the openness and adaptability to accept opportunity and continue the design of a more purposeful, playful life. I am openly taking this journey because I strategically want my own children/family and others around me to gain new insight on what is really important.  It is my hope they too will be courageous enough and feel supported to design a life and make choices that reflect more about their happiness and not following the scripts that are placed on us.  

My message goes out to those who have identified the need to make a change (a tiny step or a gigantic jump) and are looking for a friend or a cheerleader. 

A day without Darcy

I knew it was the right decision to bring a puppy into the Kelly household again after the loss of our sweet and well loved Mel.  Mel was with us for 11 years but we lost her to cancer, having only 11 days with her once the vet gave us the news.  Mel's spirit still quietly roams around the house. She still takes up a big place in my heart.  I remember her laying in the sun on the back deck, sleeping at the back door or completely taking over my bed all day looking out our big front window to the street.  She brought calm into my life.....

Then we met Darcy.....

Darcy joined our family in October at 8 weeks. She was another Labradoodle, and came to us from a wonderful family (where we met her Mom and her Dad) at WindyRiverPets in Mission, BC.  A first generation Labradoodle, she is a gem.  Her personality is blossoming - we now communicate through our eyes - and I swear I understand what she is saying.  You only know this if you have a dog, but thankfully there is a massive tribe of other crazy dog owners in this world.  They get it....

There isn't a day yet that I can say has been as calm as those enjoyed with Mel, but today feels empty and for the first time, I decide I don't want calm.  As someone who loves activity, calmness sometimes makes me feel old - maybe bored. Today, Darcy is being spade and at the vet.  I dropped her off early this morning and now wait for the call to retrieve her sleepy body who will surely need some family love.

I thank you, Darcy, for bringing such great joy into the house again.  I love that we get out hiking together for hours on end exploring the trails together, and that you are my partner in my quest to age well and ensure a healthy active lifestyle.  I love that the kids also look forward to coming home because you greet them with that massive swinging puppy tail. You've introduced me to many other dog owners who are a  special breed themselves.  I don't mind that the house is baby proofed and we have to keep the counters free of food.  We hide our socks and put our shoes in the cupboard.  Sorry about the baby gate we have between the kitchen and our family room, but for now Darcy, it's maybe short term but sometimes the others need a little bit of calm....

Many of our friends are now thinking of retirement or deciding what their next 50 years looks like as they downsize and live with the empty nest.  While we also wonder what our future looks like, for us, we have  a lot of life left to live and the energy and love you receive from a dog adds so much to the journey.  Funny I know a couple others in the same boat as us who lost family pets and are doing it all over again.  Thankfully we aren't alone, and it helps that our adult children are so helpful.

Funny, Darcy, now at 6 months, like Mel loves laying in the sun on the back deck, sleeping at the back door and completely takes over our bed as she rearranges the duvet and pillows into one pile that she sleeps on (and deposits her sand from the day).  Sometimes I think Mel is just guiding you along as you too settle into our family.

I love you both and I absolutely believe every family should reap the rewards of owning a dog.

You can learn more about Darcy on my social media channels
@TheBoomerVine on Twitter
@TheBoomerVine on Instagram
and check the hashtag #WhatILearnedFromDarcy

Don’t tolerate what steals your energy!

Ali Davies has been writing about her philosophy of “Design Your Life. Redefine Your Work” and it is a great resource for those of us who are in the depths of creating work that is based on our value and choosing to participate on teams that share such.

“You definitely want to create lasting change to live and work on your own terms based on your values, your own definition of success and what is most important to you.” Ali Davies

Years ago, a mentor friend of mine helped me grasp the tools needed to handle confrontational situations in a more controlled manner with less emotion.  You need to pull yourself out of the situation and take time to gather your thoughts and courage to dive back in. 

Maybe others too know the feeling when someone in power tries to control you by manipulating the conversation and the situation.  In my house early on, it was the strong father role (whom BTW was amazing) but he grew up an only child, so he parented “his way or the highway”.   No physical punishment but mostly emotional control, which I didn’t know existed and would affect my relationships, until early adulthood. 

I was recently in a situation that was manifesting over time and I saw was becoming a trend.  I knew that my balance was off and that my core values were being challenged.  That is a big red flag for me to regroup and evaluate things.  Similar situations have happened before which I believe were presented as learning opportunities, which I have turned around. 

Ali speaks about tolerating what doesn’t serve you.  In this case putting up with and tolerating gets in the way of how you really want to show up.  It drains your energy and wastes your time. 

I dove in full force with confidence, initiating the conversation and presented the facts and how the situation was evolving.  I kept my calm and after much heated discussion we were back on a positive productive track.  Thankfully there was a sense of openness and maturity with the other party whom I do respect, so that we were able to find clarity and move on.

This is how my passion shows up.  I can’t let things ride.  It is liberating to take control and move through situations like this and I hope everyone has the courage to do similar.

Check out Ali Davies and her online program Clear the Decks for Success. 

My new love affair.

Well that was NO Spa Utopia massage but let me tell you I am definitely awakened in a whole new way!  Bring it on...


Cracking open the honesty here, I had been suffering with a sore hip for some time and sleeping was grueling, I felt stiff and then it started affecting my hiking and my everyday activities. Despite trying to stretch and drink lots of water, and pretend it didn't hurt, I started feeling OLD. THE worst ever. With hockey coming up in the fall, I had to do something!

That was when my personal coach (aka my wonderful daughter who graduated in Kinesiology last year) introduced me to the blue foam roller.  If you have one and know about this, fine but for those of us who don't frequent the gym, boot camp or have personal trainers then you should know it is an odd thing.

The first time she told me to roll on it was awful.  Remember I am intimidated by Yoga, so even getting to the floor into the position on top of the roller was grueling and quite hilarious.  I thought she would die laughing, as my execution was anything but graceful! Apparently I needed to stretch  the fascia that surround my muscles.... ok, so lay this way and roll on the pain spot back and forth.  Good God it was so painful I squealed like a wild cat and sadly one of my kids has it on video. 

Hated it and avoided rolling despite her constant reminders.  

Until we intrinsically want to make change there is no hope.  I knew I had an issue and had to face it.  Growing old sometimes sucks.

Into the picture comes this wonderful kind and compassionate Registered Massage Therapist Holly at MoveoSport & Rehabilitation Centre whom I saw this week. I am an open book so she knew me in the first 10 min and she gained my trust instantly.  Yes the rolling apparently was a good thing but for me likely incredibly painful at the onset.  We needed to start slow (Plan B) and she spent 45 min working more then my sore hip muscle.  Apparently it's all related and she dove into my body with oily hands and nothing like at Spa Utopia.  OMG, its a technique where the RMT digs her thumbs into the upper fascia and I guess pushes the knot along.  She did this all over my body - gluts, calves, back etc.  Honestly I thought I would throw up, but she coached me in her sweet gently voice, "it's good, it's doing the work we need and I can stop at anytime".  At one point I had to divert my mind and started counting down from 100, then I was imagining myself at the beach, but I have to say Holly coached me along and explained everything she was doing.  

She encouraged me that my own active lifestyle was enough (well above the average) and that for me, at my age; I was doing the right things.  This was all I needed to hear. She commented that my body was responding well and loosing up quickly because of my active lifestyle and it was making a difference in my healing.  She couldn't comment on how I got so tight, but I guess the blue roller will be in my future.

We talked Yoga and the lack of places supporting newbies and those who don't fit the "typical image".    She did give me a referral to Yoga teacher who might be a fit. I shared with Holly my passion for helping other Boomers by sharing my stories.  She too supports healthy living and Moveo will consider working more with Boomers like me to maybe facilitate hiking groups for those wanting to be active, social and learn a little more how they can proactively avoid the blue roller!  They already volunteer at bike races, so this would potentially be just another target group they could gain trust with.  

I have 2 more sessions booked with Holly and I can't wait.  I did my homework today with the tennis ball and I committed to both (she and my in-house Kin coach) that I would see this as a lifestyle change and take charge.  

Looks like I might be having a new love affair with the blue roller.   Like all relationships it will have peaks and valleys and pain along the way but with commitment comes happiness.

We never know the impact we have on our world ..... until we are gone.

We never know the impact we have on our world until we are gone.

It was a magical afternoon.  In fact, it was the day of her birthday celebration.  She would have been 51. The room was filled with familiar faces from the community where she worked to the bright young women (and their families) with whom her daughters played sport.  People of all ages and from all stages of her life were gathered, some seated while many were standing, overflowing into the hall.  They were all people she touched during her precious years with us.  Her husband sat in the front gazing out the window (wiping the odd tear) beside his two beautiful girls who remained stoic.  

The setting was beautiful looking out onto the golf course. A little bit of fog and then during the speeches a little wet Vancouver rain.  The room was overflowing with abundant love.

I sat beside my daughter.  I wished my husband and son were with us.  You see, this woman not only touched the lives of those in the room, but many that couldn’t attend.  Her girls are friends with our two university kids and my husband and I had the honour of cheering from the sidelines at many sporting events in our community alongside this beautiful woman.  I only regret not speaking with her more.  Often we get caught up in our own lives, we forget to take the time to be present in our own world.

She was only 50 when she left us and we will never understand why but we know she left the world a better place and touched the lives of many.  Her immediate friends (soul sisters) were all there and you could tell they too were broken with the loss, but now gain strength by holding onto the memories and good times they shared.  The stories they told were precious and joked that most of the themes spoken were about drinking wine and dog walking together.  We will never know the impact of this loss on the family dog as well.

A slide show to Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely shared with us her wonderful life and adventures travelling. The pictures told the stories and the smiles drew us into the warmth of those experiences.   There were many smiles of she and her family and friends and I could feel her joy. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful family.

My heart broke (and my tears ran down my face) when her daughter spoke with such grace and pride, yet I gained strength as I listened to her thank her Mom for all that she had provided to she and her sister.  She spoke about appreciation for giving them endless opportunity in their sport, the numerous times she supported as a cheerleader from the sidelines, or driving to practice.  She described those deep conversations (the kind we can only have with our children) and the impact they had on her personal growth.   She described the tears they shared in both good times and sad.  She thanked her for helping build she and her sister into the strong women they have become today.   She promised to her Mom that she would be strong without her at her side during her university graduation, wedding and other milestones in her life.  Without hesitation, she said her strength today and as goes on with her life, is because she knows her "Mommy" will always be with her in spirit.

Her smile now shines through the two beautiful girls she has left behind. 

Her impact from today will empower many to live life and love with all that you can.  

No Regrets.

What is the definition of an Entrepreneur anyway?

This is from my application to be a mentor with the Forum for Women Entrepreneurs, 2013. 
Chapter called, "Going out on a limb - believing in self"

I had never called myself an entrepreneur until I got involved with FWE recently through Kids & Company, holding back membership for many years because I didn't have a product to sell. I stood on the sidelines for years secretly watching FWE and those playing in this field while testing my brand www.theboomervine.com a place for women moving into their next 50 years and evolving and sharing my own real stories.

 

It is only now (for some weird reason) that I can confidently stand tall as a leader excited to inspire and help other women entrepreneurs grow personally and in business. After sharing and meeting others at your FWE garden party, I truly feel I can help make a difference in the lives of others. I was told that I inspired the few I spoke with.

 

I would love to help breakdown those similar barriers for others, like me, who have vision and ideas and entrepreneurial thoughts but not quite sure where to begin.  I personally think this is an area that FWE could develop to not only help drive new members but also help support those who are bursting with ideas or simply need the emotional support to believe in themselves and their ideas. They also are looking for a tribe to belong to.

 

I have carefully strategized and created my own opportunities over the last 10 years, working for high skilled entrepreneurs who see my abilities and value (Nurse Next Door, Kumon Canada, Nognz Brain Fitness and recently Kids & Company) strategically choosing entrepreneurial companies as my employers of choice with a personal goal of continuous learning and improvement.  I have real life, grassroots experience in the sales, marketing, business development and think out of the box!  My strength is on seeing the bigger picture, glass half full and always finding ways to get to goal, breaking barriers while creating a positive corporate culture through leadership.

 

I hope I can add value to your vision at FWE.

Denise Kelly
Director of Marketing and Operations BC
Kids & Company
"jack of all trades"

 

PS. for those who care, according to Wikipedia, “The entrepreneur is commonly seen as a business leader, innovator of new ideas, and business processes.  Management skill and strong team building abilities are often perceived as essential leadership attribute”.