When we fall off our bike, we need to get right back on!

As many of you know, I have jumped into my midlife (aka my next 50 years) with both feet.  I am working to build a joyful life that is sustainable such that it will allow for income as I age (I love my work), good health mixed with lots of play with my husband, family and friends!  

Taking control of your own life, and living a meaningful one is something that requires hard work and focus.  No different then working with my franchise clients. When I take my own life as seriously as I do those of my clients then this is when the balance is achieved.  I learned a long time ago that you could only be at your best when you are being true to yourself, meeting your own wants and needs first. Strength comes when there is balance both physically and mentally. 

I was off kilter these last few weeks. My friend helped me identify the problem that I think was weighing me down.....  "Self-doubt is shit. Chews up our precious energy and blocks our progress. Don’t let it own you".

I've been training for the Ride to Conquer Cancer in August, which is a 200k ride from Vancouver to Hope over two days.  We are raising funds for cancer and this year I am riding for two of my pals who are deep in the throws of this awful disease.  While it is presented as a social experience (I am on the largest team called the Brainiacs), it is no doubt a gruelling hard cycle over mixed elevation with cyclists of all ages, stages and health levels.  

This week for some reason, I thought I couldn't do it.  Despite having donations and notes of support from amazing people who see that I am pushing myself for the benefit of others and observing me training physically, I still felt off.  Self-doubt began to pop up for me and I went off my regular training schedule and my positive mantra shifted. 

I kept these thoughts inside until I did the right thing and shared them openly with my loved ones. People who I can trust and are there for me.  Of course, they opened their hearts and took time to listen, offered support and have since helped steer me back on track. I realized that my mental strength needed as much love as the physical strength.  

It is times like these that we need to really look inside and determine what is holding us back.  The self-doubt will ripple into your work, your family and for me, my energy level and playful karma is affected.  I am now in the process to explore the mental side to see what shifted and why the self doubts about the ride?  

I am surrounding myself with people, experiences and things that I love.  I am giving myself downtime and permission to do things that feed my soul this week.  I've done a deep dive (like I would with a client) into my health (added some fish oil and some vitamins) despite my good eating habits and by sharing it with others, have opened up deep conversations that matter.  

I wanted to share that we are not alone.  In a time when mental health has become top of mind, we all need to know that we have people that care. I know that I try to show up for my family in this way and we have very open conversations that help each of us move though challenges and times of insecurity.  While I often show up as a confident, outgoing and joyful soul, I still have the same insecurities and self doubt as others.  

When we fall off our bike, we need to get right back on!  You will find me there this week as I continue my training both mentally and physically for this huge goal, which I am very proud to be part of.  

I will cross this finish line.  

It's not about me. It's about you.

I'm often asked for my opinion.  I know it's because I am honest and sincere with my answers.  I show up differently.  I take risks.  I work hard to design my life and live the best I can. I care. 

I take time to review the situation by often throwing myself in to experience it so I can empathize with the buyer or individual at hand.  My thinking is unique and my view is out of the box.  I don't hold back and know honesty is integrity and integrity and courage help us grow.  

Relationships are the real currency in life.  I'm not perfect at them, but I think I get how people think. I am forward thinking, empathetic, and focus on helping make others feel valued.  I also like the word authentic.

It's not about me.  It's about you. 

Moving you or your business forward. 

That's all it is. 

Denise teaches entrepreneurs and companies how to authentically
and creatively CONNECT with their customer,
ACTIVATE the relationship and DELIVER results to drive
participation and REVENUE while increasing the customer experience. 

You can find her here www.DeniseAKelly.com

A day without Darcy

I knew it was the right decision to bring a puppy into the Kelly household again after the loss of our sweet and well loved Mel.  Mel was with us for 11 years but we lost her to cancer, having only 11 days with her once the vet gave us the news.  Mel's spirit still quietly roams around the house. She still takes up a big place in my heart.  I remember her laying in the sun on the back deck, sleeping at the back door or completely taking over my bed all day looking out our big front window to the street.  She brought calm into my life.....

Then we met Darcy.....

Darcy joined our family in October at 8 weeks. She was another Labradoodle, and came to us from a wonderful family (where we met her Mom and her Dad) at WindyRiverPets in Mission, BC.  A first generation Labradoodle, she is a gem.  Her personality is blossoming - we now communicate through our eyes - and I swear I understand what she is saying.  You only know this if you have a dog, but thankfully there is a massive tribe of other crazy dog owners in this world.  They get it....

There isn't a day yet that I can say has been as calm as those enjoyed with Mel, but today feels empty and for the first time, I decide I don't want calm.  As someone who loves activity, calmness sometimes makes me feel old - maybe bored. Today, Darcy is being spade and at the vet.  I dropped her off early this morning and now wait for the call to retrieve her sleepy body who will surely need some family love.

I thank you, Darcy, for bringing such great joy into the house again.  I love that we get out hiking together for hours on end exploring the trails together, and that you are my partner in my quest to age well and ensure a healthy active lifestyle.  I love that the kids also look forward to coming home because you greet them with that massive swinging puppy tail. You've introduced me to many other dog owners who are a  special breed themselves.  I don't mind that the house is baby proofed and we have to keep the counters free of food.  We hide our socks and put our shoes in the cupboard.  Sorry about the baby gate we have between the kitchen and our family room, but for now Darcy, it's maybe short term but sometimes the others need a little bit of calm....

Many of our friends are now thinking of retirement or deciding what their next 50 years looks like as they downsize and live with the empty nest.  While we also wonder what our future looks like, for us, we have  a lot of life left to live and the energy and love you receive from a dog adds so much to the journey.  Funny I know a couple others in the same boat as us who lost family pets and are doing it all over again.  Thankfully we aren't alone, and it helps that our adult children are so helpful.

Funny, Darcy, now at 6 months, like Mel loves laying in the sun on the back deck, sleeping at the back door and completely takes over our bed as she rearranges the duvet and pillows into one pile that she sleeps on (and deposits her sand from the day).  Sometimes I think Mel is just guiding you along as you too settle into our family.

I love you both and I absolutely believe every family should reap the rewards of owning a dog.

You can learn more about Darcy on my social media channels
@TheBoomerVine on Twitter
@TheBoomerVine on Instagram
and check the hashtag #WhatILearnedFromDarcy

We can expand and not just in our waist!

I don’t know what happened but things just seem to be spreading out and expanding in my life right now and I don't believe I am alone.   Does anyone else feel like their waist is changing and things are starting to sag or on the upside, their mind is expanding and the opportunities that go with that?! 

It’s like all of a sudden life throws you a lifeline when we are struggling with the reality of midlife, our grown kids leaving the nest, menopause and the realities of financial challenges or health issues. 

Attitude is everything and just being positive might change the world but if not, it can certainly help one cope with the many stresses of life and aging.

Let’s try to find positive ways to make others feel needed, wanted and to help them to draw out the strengths that they have.  Imagine if we all gave more compliments to others every day how attitudes would change in a community and the ripple affect into the world?

We seem to live in such a competitive world and sometimes people forget that compassion and competition need to learn to dance together.

 If you are part of a volunteer organization, a team, a club then take the time to recognize and celebrate those who are contributing but better yet, give responsibilities to those that show the slightest interest in helping out.  We call this opportunity and by sharing, it gives chances to help others so that they can expand out of their comfort zone, into greater knowledge and in the long run, expand their confidence.  

 Extend a hand to someone or simply make the effort to recognize and share a compliment however minor and you might feel your heart expand too. The rewards will be numerous.  Life is much more about giving than receiving.  Go ahead and pay it forward.

Thankfully this expansion life hasn’t just been in my waist but also in my working life.  Expanding into our capabilities and believing in ourselves and others can create incredible new opportunities. I find some of my friends are now brainstorming new businesses, writing blogs (on Hot Pants to Hockey) and finding ways to volunteer and test this new ground.  I smile with pride and try to encourage them. 

These lifelines that we are thrown,  in my opinion,  are simply those people in your lives who care:)