The story of Mitzi and Chapter 12

This day is special for me.  Today is June 1, 2018 Intergenerational Day Canada.

This is a day which is officially a reminder, a yearly invitation for every person regardless of age, to take one small respectful step to bridge generations within their local community and ideally starting with family. It only takes a smile between generations to break through isolation and loneliness, the number one health concern for children/youth and older persons.

I am excited to tell you about how we try to do this with my extended family every day.

Our story goes like this.

My Mom Mitzi, lost her husband, my Dad in 2013 whom was her soul mate and understandably left her feeling isolated and alone in a world that at the time, felt empty and cold.   At 80 years old, my Mom had lived a full life together with her best friend so this loss created deep sadness, loneliness, and fear.  She wondered if her emptiness would dissipate and focused on just getting through each day.

I am 1/4 siblings and we don't all live in the same city.  We found that the worry and guilt of not being able to be there for Mom on a daily basis to support her weighted heavy.

The power of online social media became a solution.  It helped our family to stay connected to Mom.  It became a tool for my family, keeping us close. We created a private family Facebook group called Chapter 12  where my Mom became inspired to journal every night for the past 5 years!  No lie....honestly she posts every night as part of her nighttime routine!

Post #1 - the group was live!

As a close family we  wanted to be "together" during this difficult time.  It was also very important that Mom felt she could be vulnerable to share her inner most fears during this healing process.

Unfiltered messages were shared by all ages 

"Chapter 12 is the best thing that could have happened to me"

Here she found expression for her own voice, openly and authentically writing about her fears, joys, challenges and stories, all shared across the generations.  Her posts at the beginning were of sadness but over the years describe her healing and a testament to the stages she went through on her self discovery.   

"I am always floored how many read my posts"

 

The most recent posts have been more joyful and happy and she is posting pictures of her own new found playfulness with friends.   The posts continue to unite the family, including across the generations leaving a legacy to be shared.  

Stay tuned, this story is just beginning..... 

We never know the impact we have on our world ..... until we are gone.

We never know the impact we have on our world until we are gone.

It was a magical afternoon.  In fact, it was the day of her birthday celebration.  She would have been 51. The room was filled with familiar faces from the community where she worked to the bright young women (and their families) with whom her daughters played sport.  People of all ages and from all stages of her life were gathered, some seated while many were standing, overflowing into the hall.  They were all people she touched during her precious years with us.  Her husband sat in the front gazing out the window (wiping the odd tear) beside his two beautiful girls who remained stoic.  

The setting was beautiful looking out onto the golf course. A little bit of fog and then during the speeches a little wet Vancouver rain.  The room was overflowing with abundant love.

I sat beside my daughter.  I wished my husband and son were with us.  You see, this woman not only touched the lives of those in the room, but many that couldn’t attend.  Her girls are friends with our two university kids and my husband and I had the honour of cheering from the sidelines at many sporting events in our community alongside this beautiful woman.  I only regret not speaking with her more.  Often we get caught up in our own lives, we forget to take the time to be present in our own world.

She was only 50 when she left us and we will never understand why but we know she left the world a better place and touched the lives of many.  Her immediate friends (soul sisters) were all there and you could tell they too were broken with the loss, but now gain strength by holding onto the memories and good times they shared.  The stories they told were precious and joked that most of the themes spoken were about drinking wine and dog walking together.  We will never know the impact of this loss on the family dog as well.

A slide show to Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely shared with us her wonderful life and adventures travelling. The pictures told the stories and the smiles drew us into the warmth of those experiences.   There were many smiles of she and her family and friends and I could feel her joy. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful family.

My heart broke (and my tears ran down my face) when her daughter spoke with such grace and pride, yet I gained strength as I listened to her thank her Mom for all that she had provided to she and her sister.  She spoke about appreciation for giving them endless opportunity in their sport, the numerous times she supported as a cheerleader from the sidelines, or driving to practice.  She described those deep conversations (the kind we can only have with our children) and the impact they had on her personal growth.   She described the tears they shared in both good times and sad.  She thanked her for helping build she and her sister into the strong women they have become today.   She promised to her Mom that she would be strong without her at her side during her university graduation, wedding and other milestones in her life.  Without hesitation, she said her strength today and as goes on with her life, is because she knows her "Mommy" will always be with her in spirit.

Her smile now shines through the two beautiful girls she has left behind. 

Her impact from today will empower many to live life and love with all that you can.  

No Regrets.