Lessons learned from Mel our Labradoodle

It just happened to be National Dog Day and my FB feed was full of pictures of dogs with their owners, which I am not sure made my grief any easier.  It definitely did bring joy to see that other families had made the most precious investment in having a pet.  For us this week, we reflect on what Mel taught us and the joy she brought to our family at all stages of her great happy labradoodle life. 

I fully admit I am more a dog person.  It’s the ability to take them out walking rain or shine.  She kept me moving and I commit to keeping that healthy habit up. I followed Mel up Mosquito Creek many times but when she started following me, I knew something was wrong. 

Mel hated the rain.  She pranced around under the overhang, which covered the back of our house only to jet out to pee and gun it back for protection.  It’s pouring today here in Vancouver as I write this but I doubt it’s raining in doggie heaven.  (Which BTW is busy this week as a couple other friends’ dogs headed there too).

We all grieve differently but I had no idea the impact that having a family dog would have on our family and the hurt we are all feeling.  Such a loyal companion.  Such a big presence in our house.  I saw her develop bonds with both our kids (and their friends) during their various stages and truly she became someone who would listen unconditionally and only smile back with those deep “whites of the eye” we teased her about.  She always made an attempt to sleep in each of our rooms during the night and my motherly instinct knew by the claws on the hardwood floor where I could find her. 

Thank you Mel for bringing such joy over the 11 years we shared with you.  We saw big potential in you, the cheapest dog of the litter with the bad droopy eye we had to get fixed.  When BK said we were going to Abbotsford “just to look” we had no idea we would bring you home so unprepared.  We were definitely not trained dog owners but we tried our best.  Anne Jackson told us we were doing it all wrong.  Maybe we fed you the wrong food from Costco or maybe it was the scraps I gave you the odd time under the table or the pigs ears early on.  I think maybe it was a combination of all the socks, the Kleenex, the kitchen cloths or maybe the hair elastics you ate over the years!

Teresa our neighbour will miss you.  You had a way of bringing sunshine to her life when we would visit or you would sit on her driveway gazing into her big front window anticipating her door to open. I know the cookies were stale but you always accepted them politely.  I think you gave her a reason to live as she started deteriorating herself.  We shared a tear together yesterday when I told her.

You definitely got me through heartaches and I thank you for that.  We don’t know what to do with your stinky “baby girl" stuffed toy and sadly my home office just isn’t the same. 

PS. Grammy misses you too.  She wrote a poem for you and posted it in our Family Facebook Page.

Activate your Core Values - determine your Purpose in Life

I am liking this journey through midlife! It feels more and more like I am listening to my heart and following my real passions but holy shit does it take courage. It takes confidence and lots of positive self-talk and support from loved ones and mentors. 

I believe to be happy and to find that balance in life; we need to understand what makes us tick. What do we need to be at our best? What turns you on and fills your soul so that you have buckets of confidence to swim upstream against the current?  

I have done a lot of soul searching over the years as I design my next 50. I am pretty confident I know what makes me tick, turns me on and keeps my heart full.  I know where I want to go and how I need to get there.  I have been told I am a sparkler, my openness to greatness is admirable and my inspiration of others is contagious.  (Oh and compliments go far so give them out freely and accept them back with grace).

A girlfriend shared a mantra that speaks loudly to the importance of taking control of your own life. 

"Gather all the facts-know where you are-know where you want to be-plan how to get there"  K. Little

Must say Danielle LaPorte and her daily truthbombs that pop into my inbox keep me on track and reinforces the tribe is out there. I also hold very close to my heart the supportive encouragement from my family, friends and mentors (many of which are female entrepreneurs). 

Sometimes we feel off track, not quite right and drained and so need to re-evaluate our Needs and Wants.  Needs are those things that you require to be your best. They can swing from emotional, social to physical. When these are missing, we can feel unfocused and unbalanced.  I know first hand if I am not feeding my soul and meeting my needs then my actions become mundane, sometimes killing the inner bubbling that feels like butterflies ...  

I worked with friends at UnleashDreams years ago to determine my purpose and my core values, which guide my choices on this journey called life.  I often turn to them for support, reminders of my needs. I became a Dream Maker myself so that I could also influence others. TheBoomerVine another place, I hope can inspire other boomers by sharing my authentic stories.  I really want to make a difference in the lives of others and inspire them to be more. 

I am being vulnerable here to share openly so that you can see what makes me tick!  

My Priceless

I have a contagious enthusiasm for connecting and leading teammates to a common goal while respecting differences.

My Purpose

To share my spirit and energy with others so that it creates smiles and activates a sense of playfulness, wonder and learning.

My Core Values

Foster the Spirit - energize and unite

Generate Kindness - give unconditionally

Continuous Improvement - welcome change 

Optimism - positivity reigns

Resiliency - never give up 

Are you doing what fills your heart or are you merely following the crowd?

Let me know if you want to jump out of the pond into the ocean and create a life by design. I want to be remembered for how I made you feel and maybe inspire you to be more. Everything else is gravy. 

We never know the impact we have on our world ..... until we are gone.

We never know the impact we have on our world until we are gone.

It was a magical afternoon.  In fact, it was the day of her birthday celebration.  She would have been 51. The room was filled with familiar faces from the community where she worked to the bright young women (and their families) with whom her daughters played sport.  People of all ages and from all stages of her life were gathered, some seated while many were standing, overflowing into the hall.  They were all people she touched during her precious years with us.  Her husband sat in the front gazing out the window (wiping the odd tear) beside his two beautiful girls who remained stoic.  

The setting was beautiful looking out onto the golf course. A little bit of fog and then during the speeches a little wet Vancouver rain.  The room was overflowing with abundant love.

I sat beside my daughter.  I wished my husband and son were with us.  You see, this woman not only touched the lives of those in the room, but many that couldn’t attend.  Her girls are friends with our two university kids and my husband and I had the honour of cheering from the sidelines at many sporting events in our community alongside this beautiful woman.  I only regret not speaking with her more.  Often we get caught up in our own lives, we forget to take the time to be present in our own world.

She was only 50 when she left us and we will never understand why but we know she left the world a better place and touched the lives of many.  Her immediate friends (soul sisters) were all there and you could tell they too were broken with the loss, but now gain strength by holding onto the memories and good times they shared.  The stories they told were precious and joked that most of the themes spoken were about drinking wine and dog walking together.  We will never know the impact of this loss on the family dog as well.

A slide show to Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely shared with us her wonderful life and adventures travelling. The pictures told the stories and the smiles drew us into the warmth of those experiences.   There were many smiles of she and her family and friends and I could feel her joy. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful family.

My heart broke (and my tears ran down my face) when her daughter spoke with such grace and pride, yet I gained strength as I listened to her thank her Mom for all that she had provided to she and her sister.  She spoke about appreciation for giving them endless opportunity in their sport, the numerous times she supported as a cheerleader from the sidelines, or driving to practice.  She described those deep conversations (the kind we can only have with our children) and the impact they had on her personal growth.   She described the tears they shared in both good times and sad.  She thanked her for helping build she and her sister into the strong women they have become today.   She promised to her Mom that she would be strong without her at her side during her university graduation, wedding and other milestones in her life.  Without hesitation, she said her strength today and as goes on with her life, is because she knows her "Mommy" will always be with her in spirit.

Her smile now shines through the two beautiful girls she has left behind. 

Her impact from today will empower many to live life and love with all that you can.  

No Regrets.

The China Cabinet – a collection of our memories

Many of us have moved through our lives with what was traditionally called the china cabinet, a catchall for treasures collected over a lifetime.    

According to Wikipedia, traditionally, this cupboard or cabinet was made of wood, used indoors to store household objects such as food, crockery, textiles, liquor and to protect them from dust, vermin and dirt. 

My china cabinet also known as the pine hutch, is a product of love and has a story.

My husband and I in our early years of marriage would spend our Sundays exploring the small communities and their architecture of Fergus, Mt. Forest and Shelburne, all towns outside of Toronto on what we called our “road trips”.  One Sunday afternoon we found by accident, a road which led us to a crafter’s studio and furniture designer.  That Sunday, we left Shelburne having designed our own cabinet which later became the first piece of real furniture we owned together. 

24 years later the cupboard is jammed with a collection of items we have accumulated over time.  Filled with treasures including the Christmas Turkey plates and platter, a number of unused glass serving plates, tea cups and saucers left from Aunt Jean and a Pewter tea service from my Grandma.  Also, dishes that were left over from parties (my friend was just reunited with one), half opened packages of napkins, cards, candles, tablecloths, numerous wine glasses, kids treasures and our good china.  Most of the stuff rarely used.

Our good china dishes and the silver serving pieces, gifts from our wedding, are like new despite residing there for almost 24 years. Having grown up in a traditional household, the good dishes were often saved for formal dinner parties and entertaining only.

Well, like in many homes I assume, the unused good china dishes are no indication to the celebrations and parties enjoyed by family and friends!  In fact, our pine hutch front panel once caught fire from a tea light during a roaring Christmas party. The scar still remains.  

I will just ignore that fact that the drawers are stuffed and hard to close, I almost cause a disaster every time I reach for one of those glass dishes and some of that dust has likely been there for the entire time. 

A couple of my favourite pieces found in that old pine hutch include the sticker from a girlfriend that says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” and my grandma’s old ashtray that says “Halitosis is better than no breath at all”.

Hey, why not open up your china cabinet to take a trip down memory lane and celebrate with dinner on your good dishes!