May 26, 2012

Just another chapter in my story

Ah yes, it has been some time since I have taken time to myself to sit and write my thoughts in this blog. You see I have been busy. Busy with making challenging and sometimes difficult decisions about my life and my work and how I want to spend my days. Is it age related, do we sometimes feel that we are here to make a difference and the years simply are now passing by too quickly? We have the choice to take control and yes, the great thing is that we have control of our decisions if we can muster up the courage. We are here to carve our path and write our own story. I relate everything to music and the song, "we're here for a good time, not a long time" always resonates with me. I have been known to sing this with friends very loudly with feeling. Music makes me happy.

Whoosh, I had found myself in a space (work space) that provided me with more insight into myself and clearly helped me define what it is I didn't want. I am very thankful for such opportunity to have contributed to this team and even more appreciative of the strong references for my contributions (as if that really matters but in our society, it does).

You see, each of us is very different and what provides us energy and confidence and meaning is found in a variety of ways. For me, my lesson over this past while was reassurance. Reassurance that it is okay to be driven and drawn to others who are big thinkers who have a similar vision and believe their work has meaning. From this past experience, I bounced out stronger and more focused on the next chapter, leaving behind impressions and (hopefully) my positive influence on others (I am sure this work space has returned to calm and quiet). Thank you to one of my new peers there who had the courage to tell me that having met me has left them a changed person, and that they now see fewer barriers to this next stage in their own life. How rewarding. Sadly, all that was needed was someone to believe in their capabilities, and to show appreciation of their work. If you are leading others in this very influential role, consciously welcome input and ideas from your team in order to create a culture that thrives.

Whoosh again, one sunny night at a prospecting meeting over dinner, this "opportunity thing" falls into my lap.  Karma, I say. Chance was knocking and I had to face the difficult decision to go with the heart, or what society expected from me. I guess, psychologically, I had put out into the universe the "heads up" that I wasn't thriving. I felt frustrated and ready for the next adventure in my own story. Over dinner (actually before dinner even came) we were connected. I was confident that she could sense my passion, energy, and drive. Our values and goals were in synergy and it was obvious that I was meant to meet her (thank you for that introduction again). You see, this new role tied in all my past experience working with kids and seniors as well as new businesses. I didn't hold back, like I have done before. I gave her the real goods and presented the "real me", and she continued to identify my knowledge that I could bring to the team. I start next week and it feels like I have a new spring in my step, and again, I have come alive.

My family smiles, supporting me like they always do (even my mom and dad say it is like seeing a new flower blossoming), for which I am ever so thankful. There has been such change over time, and together they ride this rollercoaster with me. Something is pushing me to leave life lessons with my children, and I believe that with their observation of my personal growth (they see me laugh, cry, and I seek their advice), and by me openly sharing, they will receive an insight that many don't have. Some people judge us when we step outside the comfort zone to take risks, and sadly, because of this, many never do.

I can tell you that it is only when I step out of this comfort zone that I feel I am growing. It ain't easy and I admit; I cry, sometimes feel unfocused, and lost with such uncertainty. I trust I am not alone. I also continue to try to figure out why others share words or opinions that are so hurtful, but each and every time, I pull myself out and trust the process, remembering that I am here to make a difference, and that it ain't easy.

We're here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can't shine every day

- Trooper