When we fall off our bike, we need to get right back on!

As many of you know, I have jumped into my midlife (aka my next 50 years) with both feet.  I am working to build a joyful life that is sustainable such that it will allow for income as I age (I love my work), good health mixed with lots of play with my husband, family and friends!  

Taking control of your own life, and living a meaningful one is something that requires hard work and focus.  No different then working with my franchise clients. When I take my own life as seriously as I do those of my clients then this is when the balance is achieved.  I learned a long time ago that you could only be at your best when you are being true to yourself, meeting your own wants and needs first. Strength comes when there is balance both physically and mentally. 

I was off kilter these last few weeks. My friend helped me identify the problem that I think was weighing me down.....  "Self-doubt is shit. Chews up our precious energy and blocks our progress. Don’t let it own you".

I've been training for the Ride to Conquer Cancer in August, which is a 200k ride from Vancouver to Hope over two days.  We are raising funds for cancer and this year I am riding for two of my pals who are deep in the throws of this awful disease.  While it is presented as a social experience (I am on the largest team called the Brainiacs), it is no doubt a gruelling hard cycle over mixed elevation with cyclists of all ages, stages and health levels.  

This week for some reason, I thought I couldn't do it.  Despite having donations and notes of support from amazing people who see that I am pushing myself for the benefit of others and observing me training physically, I still felt off.  Self-doubt began to pop up for me and I went off my regular training schedule and my positive mantra shifted. 

I kept these thoughts inside until I did the right thing and shared them openly with my loved ones. People who I can trust and are there for me.  Of course, they opened their hearts and took time to listen, offered support and have since helped steer me back on track. I realized that my mental strength needed as much love as the physical strength.  

It is times like these that we need to really look inside and determine what is holding us back.  The self-doubt will ripple into your work, your family and for me, my energy level and playful karma is affected.  I am now in the process to explore the mental side to see what shifted and why the self doubts about the ride?  

I am surrounding myself with people, experiences and things that I love.  I am giving myself downtime and permission to do things that feed my soul this week.  I've done a deep dive (like I would with a client) into my health (added some fish oil and some vitamins) despite my good eating habits and by sharing it with others, have opened up deep conversations that matter.  

I wanted to share that we are not alone.  In a time when mental health has become top of mind, we all need to know that we have people that care. I know that I try to show up for my family in this way and we have very open conversations that help each of us move though challenges and times of insecurity.  While I often show up as a confident, outgoing and joyful soul, I still have the same insecurities and self doubt as others.  

When we fall off our bike, we need to get right back on!  You will find me there this week as I continue my training both mentally and physically for this huge goal, which I am very proud to be part of.  

I will cross this finish line.  

Just keep showing up.

Just keep showing up and I don't mean in your new shoes with your hair curled.

Showing up is hard sometimes.  We all show up to life, the party, to work and to others in so many creative ways.

I know, because right at this moment I pushed aside my fears and uncertainty to dig deep so I can share my thoughts and show up here at TheBoomerVine.  Knowing the value of being honest and being real was what gave me the courage to sit back down to write here.  

I want to show up for those that need me.  I feel compelled to share my thoughts and fears and uncertainty that I face everyday as I go about being a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur and financial contributor to the family, thinking that I am not alone as we age through this process.  It's been a long time since I sat to write here but there has been so much going on in my mind, my life, my work and in my family.  All the energy that I had was spent elsewhere, not writing here.  

I've missed it.  

The big question is "Who is it that we are showing up for anyway?"

Sometimes I can't show up here because I just don't have the energy.  As an entrepreneur I am often deep in thought or processing an opportunity that somehow appears before me.  Rarely is it such a big idea that it wants to pull all of my energy towards it but recently I let it.  Any energy that is left is then shared with what is right in front of me - my priorities.   

My priorities are for my self and my family.  My incredible family whom without their love and support, I wouldn't have the courage to continue on this journey of self-discovery during this shift in midlife. They encourage me to speak from the heart because they know it is raw, yet authentic and that the messages are to be shared with others on this same journey who are not as confident and also looking to live a meaningful life with more purpose.  It is no secret that some of those in society today are running on the hamster wheel filled with so much guilt they can't even articulate it. They have no time to stop and reflect but perhaps they know what the outcome would be if they did.  Not always pretty.  Maybe they are showing up for someone other than themselves.

I give credit to the ones who have the courage to step out of situations that hold them back (going against the scripts); be it a job, taking a break from university, or from a relationship that forces them to show up for someone other than themselves.  Years and years of this routine can be devastating to our health and others around us unless you have found that balance and living a life you helped design.

I was asked the other day "where do you lose your power" which digs right down to the core uncovering situations that hold you back from being the authentic you and perhaps living a more fulfilled life.  

This has nothing to do with feeling any regret for my past but this is all about showing up during the rest of my life with the openness and adaptability to accept opportunity and continue the design of a more purposeful, playful life. I am openly taking this journey because I strategically want my own children/family and others around me to gain new insight on what is really important.  It is my hope they too will be courageous enough and feel supported to design a life and make choices that reflect more about their happiness and not following the scripts that are placed on us.  

My message goes out to those who have identified the need to make a change (a tiny step or a gigantic jump) and are looking for a friend or a cheerleader.