Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

June 22, 2016

It's not about me. It's about you.

I'm often asked for my opinion.  I know it's because I am honest and sincere with my answers.  I show up differently.  I take risks.  I work hard to design my life and live the best I can. I care. 

I take time to review the situation by often throwing myself in to experience it so I can empathize with the buyer or individual at hand.  My thinking is unique and my view is out of the box.  I don't hold back and know honesty is integrity and integrity and courage help us grow.  

Relationships are the real currency in life.  I'm not perfect at them, but I think I get how people think. I am forward thinking, empathetic, and focus on helping make others feel valued.  I also like the word authentic.

It's not about me.  It's about you. 
Moving you or your business forward. 


That's all it is. 



Denise teaches entrepreneurs and companies how to authentically
and creatively CONNECT with their customer,
ACTIVATE the relationship and DELIVER results to drive
participation and REVENUE while increasing the customer experience. 

You can find her here www.DeniseAKelly.com


September 30, 2015

Don’t tolerate what steals your energy!


Ali Davies has been writing about her philosophy of “Design Your Life. Redefine Your Work” and it is a great resource for those of us who are in the depths of creating work that is based on our value and choosing to participate on teams that share such.

“You definitely want to create lasting change to live and work on your own terms based on your values, your own definition of success and what is most important to you.” Ali Davies

Years ago, a mentor friend of mine helped me grasp the tools needed to handle confrontational situations in a more controlled manner with less emotion.  You need to pull yourself out of the situation and take time to gather your thoughts and courage to dive back in. 

Maybe others too know the feeling when someone in power tries to control you by manipulating the conversation and the situation.  In my house early on, it was the strong father role (whom BTW was amazing) but he grew up an only child, so he parented “his way or the highway”.   No physical punishment but mostly emotional control, which I didn’t know existed and would affect my relationships, until early adulthood. 

I was recently in a situation that was manifesting over time and I saw was becoming a trend.  I knew that my balance was off and that my core values were being challenged.  That is a big red flag for me to regroup and evaluate things.  Similar situations have happened before which I believe were presented as learning opportunities, which I have turned around. 

Ali speaks about tolerating what doesn’t serve you.  In this case putting up with and tolerating gets in the way of how you really want to show up.  It drains your energy and wastes your time. 

I dove in full force with confidence, initiating the conversation and presented the facts and how the situation was evolving.  I kept my calm and after much heated discussion we were back on a positive productive track.  Thankfully there was a sense of openness and maturity with the other party whom I do respect, so that we were able to find clarity and move on.

This is how my passion shows up.  I can’t let things ride.  It is liberating to take control and move through situations like this and I hope everyone has the courage to do similar.


Check out Ali Davies and her online program Clear the Decks for Success

July 04, 2015

My new love affair.

Well that was NO Spa Utopia massage but let me tell you I am definitely awakened in a whole new way!  Bring it on...


Cracking open the honesty here, I had been suffering with a sore hip for some time and sleeping was grueling, I felt stiff and then it started affecting my hiking and my everyday activities. Despite trying to stretch and drink lots of water, and pretend it didn't hurt, I started feeling OLD. THE worst ever. With hockey coming up in the fall, I had to do something!

That was when my personal coach (aka my wonderful daughter who graduated in Kinesiology last year) introduced me to the blue foam roller.  If you have one and know about this, fine but for those of us who don't frequent the gym, boot camp or have personal trainers then you should know it is an odd thing.

The first time she told me to roll on it was awful.  Remember I am intimidated by Yoga, so even getting to the floor into the position on top of the roller was grueling and quite hilarious.  I thought she would die laughing, as my execution was anything but graceful! Apparently I needed to stretch  the fascia that surround my muscles.... ok, so lay this way and roll on the pain spot back and forth.  Good God it was so painful I squealed like a wild cat and sadly one of my kids has it on video. 

Hated it and avoided rolling despite her constant reminders.  

Until we intrinsically want to make change there is no hope.  I knew I had an issue and had to face it.  Growing old sometimes sucks.

Into the picture comes this wonderful kind and compassionate Registered Massage Therapist Holly at MoveoSport & Rehabilitation Centre whom I saw this week. I am an open book so she knew me in the first 10 min and she gained my trust instantly.  Yes the rolling apparently was a good thing but for me likely incredibly painful at the onset.  We needed to start slow (Plan B) and she spent 45 min working more then my sore hip muscle.  Apparently it's all related and she dove into my body with oily hands and nothing like at Spa Utopia.  OMG, its a technique where the RMT digs her thumbs into the upper fascia and I guess pushes the knot along.  She did this all over my body - gluts, calves, back etc.  Honestly I thought I would throw up, but she coached me in her sweet gently voice, "it's good, it's doing the work we need and I can stop at anytime".  At one point I had to divert my mind and started counting down from 100, then I was imagining myself at the beach, but I have to say Holly coached me along and explained everything she was doing.  

She encouraged me that my own active lifestyle was enough (well above the average) and that for me, at my age; I was doing the right things.  This was all I needed to hear. She commented that my body was responding well and loosing up quickly because of my active lifestyle and it was making a difference in my healing.  She couldn't comment on how I got so tight, but I guess the blue roller will be in my future.

We talked Yoga and the lack of places supporting newbies and those who don't fit the "typical image".    She did give me a referral to Yoga teacher who might be a fit. I shared with Holly my passion for helping other Boomers by sharing my stories.  She too supports healthy living and Moveo will consider working more with Boomers like me to maybe facilitate hiking groups for those wanting to be active, social and learn a little more how they can proactively avoid the blue roller!  They already volunteer at bike races, so this would potentially be just another target group they could gain trust with.  

I have 2 more sessions booked with Holly and I can't wait.  I did my homework today with the tennis ball and I committed to both (she and my in-house Kin coach) that I would see this as a lifestyle change and take charge.  

Looks like I might be having a new love affair with the blue roller.   Like all relationships it will have peaks and valleys and pain along the way but with commitment comes happiness.





December 29, 2013

You know you are an Empty Nester when....


If you follow my blog and twitter you will know I try to write from the heart and share my journey as I move through my next 50 years as a Boomer.  It changes daily and sadly I have not been keeping up with my writing as I admit my priorities are off with focusing too much time at work and not enough time on me but come 2014 I am realigning. My balance is off and I acknowledge that and commit to making change.  Just another part of the journey. That will be a later post....

The Empty Nest....

Lots of changes for me this past year as you know when both my kids flew the coop and I became an "empty nester".  Off to university across the country.  Now many will say they looked forward to this day when they would have the freedom without the ties that bind.  I had no idea what I would feel until reality hit me head on in August 2013.  

I don't love it but I am adjusting.  

I try to write about it and speak openly to others about the realities and the emotions one might experience.  This is for the minority of us who dig deep and fight repressing their true feelings allowing their vulnerability to be exposed.  I cried many days after my kids left, after sharing skype chats and phone calls but nobody ever talked about similar experiences.  I felt alone, like I had to pretend all was ok and I was happy to be into my next phase of life.  I especially feared when others would push my feeling under the carpet and say "oh you will be fine".  I knew I wasn't alone when others would want to hear my tales at parties and stop me on the street corner eager to ask me questions about their pending situation.  I was encouraged to speak honestly without filters, something that comes naturally.

My kids are blossoming, engaged and participating fully in the opportunities they have at school. I keep reminding myself that we raise them to become authentic contributing adults living their passion.  I give credit to both my husband and I as we did a great job setting them up with the foundation they needed to venture into this world.  I wouldn't have it any other way and they both know it. 

I had this list posted on the fridge, which I wrote shortly after they left in September and it recently made them laugh.  I hope it makes others laugh too....


You know you are an Empty Nester when.....
  • you only buy 1 litre of milk
  • don't search for a dry/clean towel after a shower
  • your laundry takes 15min and one dryer cycle
  • can't figure out how to get on Netflix (apparently it's on kids PS3)
  • your semi unpacked suitcase from Spain (trip 2 weeks ago) still on kids bed 
  • the dog sleeps on you and greets you at the door like a long lost friend every day
  • couple cans of PBR in the fridge and your beer fridge remains full
  • 1/2 finished stale cheerios in the cupboard
  • the cleaning lady looks for things to do
  • kids rooms are bare and empty and exactly the way they left them
  • your shoes/boots left all over the house suddenly stand out
  • you start a family WhatsApp group with intent to facilitate family conversations 
  • you are the first one at the airport, often early waiting their arrival home 

Be happy, hug your kids.  

Cheers, 
Denise