You know you are an Empty Nester when....

If you follow my blog and twitter you will know I try to write from the heart and share my journey as I move through my next 50 years as a Boomer.  It changes daily and sadly I have not been keeping up with my writing as I admit my priorities are off with focusing too much time at work and not enough time on me but come 2014 I am realigning. My balance is off and I acknowledge that and commit to making change.  Just another part of the journey. That will be a later post....

The Empty Nest....

Lots of changes for me this past year as you know when both my kids flew the coop and I became an "empty nester".  Off to university across the country.  Now many will say they looked forward to this day when they would have the freedom without the ties that bind.  I had no idea what I would feel until reality hit me head on in August 2013.  

I don't love it but I am adjusting.  

I try to write about it and speak openly to others about the realities and the emotions one might experience.  This is for the minority of us who dig deep and fight repressing their true feelings allowing their vulnerability to be exposed.  I cried many days after my kids left, after sharing skype chats and phone calls but nobody ever talked about similar experiences.  I felt alone, like I had to pretend all was ok and I was happy to be into my next phase of life.  I especially feared when others would push my feeling under the carpet and say "oh you will be fine".  I knew I wasn't alone when others would want to hear my tales at parties and stop me on the street corner eager to ask me questions about their pending situation.  I was encouraged to speak honestly without filters, something that comes naturally.

My kids are blossoming, engaged and participating fully in the opportunities they have at school. I keep reminding myself that we raise them to become authentic contributing adults living their passion.  I give credit to both my husband and I as we did a great job setting them up with the foundation they needed to venture into this world.  I wouldn't have it any other way and they both know it. 

I had this list posted on the fridge, which I wrote shortly after they left in September and it recently made them laugh.  I hope it makes others laugh too....

You know you are an Empty Nester when.....

• you only buy 1 litre of milk
• don't search for a dry/clean towel after a shower
• your laundry takes 15min and one dryer cycle
• can't figure out how to get on Netflix (apparently it's on kids PS3)
• your semi unpacked suitcase from Spain (trip 2 weeks ago) still on kids bed 
• the dog sleeps on you and greets you at the door like a long lost friend every day
• couple cans of PBR in the fridge and your beer fridge remains full
• 1/2 finished stale cheerios in the cupboard
• the cleaning lady looks for things to do
• kids rooms are bare and empty and exactly the way they left them
• your shoes/boots left all over the house suddenly stand out
• you start a family WhatsApp group with intent to facilitate family conversations 
• you are the first one at the airport, often early waiting their arrival home 

Be happy, hug your kids.  

Cheers, 

Denise

 

What is the definition of an Entrepreneur anyway?

This is from my application to be a mentor with the Forum for Women Entrepreneurs, 2013. 
Chapter called, "Going out on a limb - believing in self"

I had never called myself an entrepreneur until I got involved with FWE recently through Kids & Company, holding back membership for many years because I didn't have a product to sell. I stood on the sidelines for years secretly watching FWE and those playing in this field while testing my brand www.theboomervine.com a place for women moving into their next 50 years and evolving and sharing my own real stories.

 

It is only now (for some weird reason) that I can confidently stand tall as a leader excited to inspire and help other women entrepreneurs grow personally and in business. After sharing and meeting others at your FWE garden party, I truly feel I can help make a difference in the lives of others. I was told that I inspired the few I spoke with.

 

I would love to help breakdown those similar barriers for others, like me, who have vision and ideas and entrepreneurial thoughts but not quite sure where to begin.  I personally think this is an area that FWE could develop to not only help drive new members but also help support those who are bursting with ideas or simply need the emotional support to believe in themselves and their ideas. They also are looking for a tribe to belong to.

 

I have carefully strategized and created my own opportunities over the last 10 years, working for high skilled entrepreneurs who see my abilities and value (Nurse Next Door, Kumon Canada, Nognz Brain Fitness and recently Kids & Company) strategically choosing entrepreneurial companies as my employers of choice with a personal goal of continuous learning and improvement.  I have real life, grassroots experience in the sales, marketing, business development and think out of the box!  My strength is on seeing the bigger picture, glass half full and always finding ways to get to goal, breaking barriers while creating a positive corporate culture through leadership.

 

I hope I can add value to your vision at FWE.

Denise Kelly
Director of Marketing and Operations BC
Kids & Company
"jack of all trades"

 

PS. for those who care, according to Wikipedia, “The entrepreneur is commonly seen as a business leader, innovator of new ideas, and business processes.  Management skill and strong team building abilities are often perceived as essential leadership attribute”.

 

 

Another ride on my journey.

Well it all started one night in December at a community hockey party where, after many glasses of red wine, I said yes to my pal (and Brainiac captain) Dave Desrochers.  A decision for which I have no regrets. 

People who know me recognize my tenacity to seek out opportunities to try new things, push the boundaries and to find some sort of excitement, so The Ride to Conquer Cancer was for me just that. 

This gal at 50 feels no limits and looked at this bike thing as a new midlife challenge, great way to get fit, meet new people and maybe even lose the mid-drift bulge. I had a new found confidence on the ice rink as a Stanley Cupcake so a new activity simply made sense. 

My big ride is in 3 more sleeps and honestly I can't wait! 

I bought my bike second hand and left it sitting for a month afraid of the clips that locked my foot to the pedal. My first ride was down the street, I remember the fear of falling. Well that ride turned into longer ones, completing 110 km riding to Richmond and back! My dream ride was to Horseshoe Bay along the water which I ticked off my bucket list and Map My Ride became my new best friend. I got up at 5:30 am to ride Stanley Park for which my friends think I am nuts. 

This post is for you my sponsors, supporters and friends who not only donated to the cause to help find a cure for Cancer but for me, you have become this wonderful presence watching over me.  As I gather my cycling stuff and my confidence over the next few days preparing for this huge undertaking, riding over 200km to Seattle,  I want you to know that I feel the love. 

I am honoured as well to be chosen by our team captains as one of the ambassadors for the Brainiacs, the largest team riding in BC.  I guess it shows that my passion for this new adventure, ability to reach a huge personal goal and my encouragement for others, are all sincere. 

Some of you may not know but I also lost my Dad last week so this ride, on Father’s Day, has spiritual meaning for he was always one of my biggest fans and supporters. He will also be there in spirit. 

I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends like you all and promise to make you proud. 

Don't limit your challenges, challenge the limits!

BIG smiles today.
Feelings of incredible SATISFACTION and currently basking in the LOVE shown by others.

I reached my GOAL! My ride to conquer cancer fundraising goal raising $2500 for the cause.

I very much feel the love and support from many whom sponsored me as I embark further into this frightening adventure but even more confident that this gal (at 50) can push the barriers that often limit us.

I am going to ride to Seattle on my bike. I  have been training physically but also mentally. I know that by keeping my thoughts positive I can accomplish anything I set out to do. It has worked for me before and combined with my new found confidence, I am determined it will work again.

I myself  live with tenacity, integrity and with compassion for others.  It has always been my hope that I could inspire others to also push their limits by exposing the risks I take to push mine.  Most importantly a clear message to believe in themselves.

The feelings of accomplishment that I had when I rode my bike over the Lions Gate bridge last weekend was empowering. You see, each step forward is a step closer.

This ride is just one step further to becoming a stronger and confident self.

125 more days to go

125 more days to go until my adventure I call
 #itsalongwaytoseattle....
 

I joined the BC Ride to Conquer Cancer , which for those of you that don't know, is a 2 day cycling adventure through the Pacific Northwest region on a road bike over a weekend in June 2013! (Vancouver to Seattle).  I proudly hold a spot on a team called the The Brainiacs  comprised of brain cancer survivors and friends who are committed to finding a cure for cancer.  We will be fundraising and creating awareness for cancer research at  The BC Cancer Foundation. You should also note that I have started a team chapter called The Scardiacs, my own little tribe of beginner riders and that my brave husband Brendan recently joined the adventure.

 

The words "cycling adventure" freaks me out but their marketing message is that this is for everyone - both seasoned and beginner riders. I am told by my long time pal and now cycling Brainiac mentor, Dave Desrochers, that I will be fine. He clearly sees my tenacity for life and positivity, however, I must be honest that when I agreed to join it wasn't until I said the words out loud to friends and myself that the reality set in. 

 

It is however notes of support like this that I have received that make me feel supported by friends and encouraged that I can do this. With each donation I have tried to send a personal thank you card or personal sincere acknowledgement and showing of  thanks, such as a simple hug. 

 

 

Thank you to those of you that have supported me financially and to those who continue to support me in spirit. I will keep you updated through my blog www.TheBoomerVine.com so that you can follow me along on this adventure. Sign up on my blog to receive updates or learn more about me on my personal fundraising page  Denise Kelly.

 

 

Little do you know, I need your support way more then you know so keep the love coming. I am only 30% to my financial goal and every little bit counts.  Please acknowledge all riders on the journey especially those survivors who ride with the yellow flag, because really, we are all doing this for them.

 

 

YOLO

 

 

 

Trying to Live With No Regrets

Quinn Keast taught us to Live with No Regrets and I listened.

My 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer is no different then the half marathon I signed up for years ago with friends. You see at that time I also thought myself a little out of shape, too heavy to run, excuse excuse excuse...... but guess what, I did it!  I taught myself  that negative self talk won't get you anywhere and since then it rarely dares to talk to me.

Since then I have learned to play ice hockey and have achieved many goals both personally and professionally. Achieving such is not always easy but without goals we stand still. I crave challenge and continuous improvement.

What I loved about my marathon adventure was the chance to train with friends who I also believe may have shared similar self doubts but most importantly we were accountable to one another. I remember those early morning Sunday runs and many we ran with few hours of sleep and sometimes hungover, but we would laugh our way along because we had each other.

Camaraderie is super important to me. It is definitely a reason for my participation in this ride with other like minded wanting to make a difference. 

I am thankful for my kids and my husband who are my biggest supporters and believe in me when I sometimes don't believe in myself. I feel very loved and supported on such new crazy adventures and appreciate when they find humour in such. 

Are you living with no regrets?
The Quinn Keast Foundation

Denise

You can sponsor me here.
http://brainiacscycling.com/profile/denisekelly/

Will any of The Stanley Cupcakes accept the challenge?

Saturday January 12,2013
(To my female hockey team The Stanley Cupcakes I helped start 3+ years ago. A mix of 45 something woman)

Dear fellow Cupcakes and friends,   

I remember the day (and excitement), years ago that I had the opportunity to push my boundaries and step out on the ice with all of you. All of us have come such a long way....

Many of you know that I love to create opportunities to try new things to not only keep life exciting but to prove age is no barrier.  I thrive being around others who can find joy in new accomplishments. 

I am certainly no uber-athlete but I have decided to take this humungous step and join the BC Ride to Conquer Cancer with a great group called the Brainiacs led by David Desrochers whom many of you know. I will be looking for other beginner riders to ride with me (no, I don't even have a road bike yet but started spinning).  No doubt fellow Brainiac/Cupcake Heather will be well off in the distance as I ride along but just having her part of this keeps me in:)

Please consider riding along with me on this team but also showing your support so I know I have others who believe in me and my abilities to finish this. 

I'm actually terrified. 

#4

Support me on my cycling journey to Seattle!

http://brainiacscycling.com/profile/denisekelly/

Denise Kelly

604-786-4047 

Nothing replaces the warmth of human kindness.

“I have nobody. I need someone.”

¾Amanda Todd

FACT:  There are more people on the planet than ever before.

FACT:  People share e-messages within seconds.

FICTION: That we are meaningfully connected.

One of my mentors Sharon MacKenzie wrote this about our changing communities....

Sharon MacKenzie, Victoria BC

Parent, Teacher, Grandmother
Inter-generational Community Advocate

I’m sixty-four years old with three grown sons. I recently gave one an earful because for three weeks we had texted and send random photos. I had not heard the sound of his voice nor sensed the timbre of his tone to know if he was content, harried or healthy. Yes, we were connected, but no, we were not.

Having nobody and needing someone are serious issues that confront two generations¾ young people and older adults. Governments lack sufficient flexibility, funds, and personnel to cure the ill of social disconnection. The answer may be to prevent the debilitating circumstances of social isolation by ‘becoming community’. There is untapped inter-generational power that can build resiliency to heal what ails us. “I have nobody. I need someone.” is not just the call for help of Amanda Todd, it is a call from Canadian society. We as individuals need to stop viewing our neighbourhoods as locations, and start interacting face-to-face within them.

At some time in our lives, each of us will find ourselves alone and isolated as a result of death, divorce, re-location, as a new parent, a reluctant retiree, or as a neglected child. Circumstances of disconnection make us vulnerable. If someone is not there to fill the void within, we may fall victim to depression, addictions, suicide, gangs, or we may turn to cyper-space. But Facebook can be faceless and texts are text without context. Nothing replaces the warmth of human kindness.

Governments and institutions fund programmes that grapple with the complexities of teen bullying, depression, addictions and suicide. Meanwhile at the other end of the age continuum, they fund projects to promote awareness of elder abuse, self-neglect, depression, addictions and senior suicide. In aged and youth, isolation is now a leading health concern. It costs us lives. It costs us money. It causes us despair.

Two generations, opposite ends of the ageing spectrum, both facing astoundingly similar issues, both looking to be empowered and connected. Could working inter-generationally be a winning double-dip?

Canada’s history is proof that generations working shoulder-to-shoulder create resilient community, but now we disconnect generations. We develop paths to efficiently target age groups: seniors in seniors’ facilities, high school students in high schools, middle-age in workplaces, First Nations in Residential schools, pre-schoolers in pre-schools. In disabling inter-generational strength, the middle generation is left to care for both the young and the old. But why not let the young and old together form a coalition of care with each other? Co-participating as age-friendly partners, they can positively address some of the very criteria in which depression, lack of purpose, and isolation are rooted.

Ministries of Education are proposing ‘project based learning’, a community-context approach. We know historically that elder knowledge was revered as part of teaching, tempering, and applauding youthful creativity. Schools and community can once again offer opportunities for building respectful bridges between youth and older adults, an inter-generational stand against ageist attitudes, isolation and bullying. Prevention is the key. It’s easy, cost-effective, and it will work.

Regardless of how much money government hands out, how many dedicated volunteers, how trained staff is, or how strong the family unit, there will never be ‘enough’ to correct all that plagues us within the social milieu. Party politics come and go, families split and move apart, and education and health care run the race between burn out and responding to the myriad of problems in an ever-changing field.

Everything costs more and takes longer, with no promise that funded programs are sustainable. What we do have is children and youth with time on their hands, and a bulging demographic of older adults. We have the people power.

 

It is unfortunate that it took the death of another young person to re-focus our attention on how important kind and respectful face-to-face relationships are to our societal wellbeing. How many more calls for help do we need to hear? As individuals within democracy, we must all take personal responsibility for the solution and act now.

Research shows that purposeful and simple inter-generational activities make positive differences. They bring long-lasting strength to participants who reflect, “I have someone. I do not feel alone.”

 So, what are we waiting for?

One place to start is with excellent resources newly developed by government and not-for-profit in Canada. Check them out at www.intergenerational.ca and then do something.

Contributor

Sharon MacKenzie, Victoria BC
Parent, Teacher, Grandmother
Inter-generational Community Advocate

 250-308-7892   sharonlmackenzie@gmail.com

Happy 50th - I promise not to grow up!

I have recently reached my 50th year and I feel so grateful for so much.  I want to continue to live life with tenacity, to push my boundaries and to continue to find ways to appreciate and live my best life.  I hope I can make a difference in the lives of others and leave my mark while I am here.  I am enjoying a wonderful life with wonderful family around me, it’s just that I can’t imagine falling into a routine during the next 50 years...... 

You see, age is so not a barrier and I have promised myself not to grow up.

 

Seems like yesterday I was playing at the cottage in Collingwood, Ontario with cousins and family swimming, sailing, exploring and creating memories on Georgian Bay.  Understandably, with little concept of just how wonderful that life was, yet I remember it like it was yesterday.  That yesterday was actually 45 years ago which seems like AGES in time.    

It doesn’t feel so long ago that I turned 40 when my husband and friends crowned me Edgemont Idol, an honor to bestow. I remember the costumes. performances and the dancing until the wee hours of the morning (something we are known for).   
Thankfully these costume parties still happen and proud to say, we still dance until the wee hours.

A community gal at heart, I will always try to connect people together (through parties, sports team or community events) and to encourage others to also push their boundaries and to live their best life. For me, it's wanting others to have more.

We know change comes from within and only those with the confidence and courage will move into a life they love.
 

 

 

Then arrives the 50^th – the day I woke with a smile and a heart that was full.  It was as if I had reached a peak and a place whereby I was given permission to actively explore what the world had to offer and to carry on.  Quite weird, but I felt like I was in new shoes, bigger shoes......

A birthday trip to Vegas was in order and it wasn't too hard to convience my girlfriends it was a good idea.  Being around such wonderful friends was an honour and a blast.  The book tells our story.....

Our children are a reflection of us and I am super proud that ours identify with me.  Both are expressive with their words and I have received many treasured cards from each encouraging me and thanking me for helping them to dream big and follow their passions. It became apparent that these expressions were honest and real when I received this homemade birthday card.  

I can’t express my gratitude for such wonderful and humorous messages from my husband, daughter and my son.  You will note, that it appears, our dog Mel is also the centre of my universe. 


I feel grateful for my parents who continue to support me even though my actions sometimes fall outside their comfort zone. My Mom and I share a similar sprit and I have learned much from her.   I sometimes think that she is vicariously living a life alongside with me, always eager to hear the details and share in my joy.





 

And of course, life would be lonely without your best friend(s) walking beside you. 

 

 

 

  

Here’s to another 50 years. Bring it on.....

Just another chapter in my story

Ah yes, it has been some time since I have taken time to myself to sit and write my thoughts in this blog. You see I have been busy. Busy with making challenging and sometimes difficult decisions about my life and my work and how I want to spend my days. Is it age related, do we sometimes feel that we are here to make a difference and the years simply are now passing by too quickly? We have the choice to take control and yes, the great thing is that we have control of our decisions if we can muster up the courage. We are here to carve our path and write our own story. I relate everything to music and the song, "we're here for a good time, not a long time" always resonates with me. I have been known to sing this with friends very loudly with feeling. Music makes me happy.

Whoosh, I had found myself in a space (work space) that provided me with more insight into myself and clearly helped me define what it is I didn't want. I am very thankful for such opportunity to have contributed to this team and even more appreciative of the strong references for my contributions (as if that really matters but in our society, it does).

You see, each of us is very different and what provides us energy and confidence and meaning is found in a variety of ways. For me, my lesson over this past while was reassurance. Reassurance that it is okay to be driven and drawn to others who are big thinkers who have a similar vision and believe their work has meaning. From this past experience, I bounced out stronger and more focused on the next chapter, leaving behind impressions and (hopefully) my positive influence on others (I am sure this work space has returned to calm and quiet). Thank you to one of my new peers there who had the courage to tell me that having met me has left them a changed person, and that they now see fewer barriers to this next stage in their own life. How rewarding. Sadly, all that was needed was someone to believe in their capabilities, and to show appreciation of their work. If you are leading others in this very influential role, consciously welcome input and ideas from your team in order to create a culture that thrives.

Whoosh again, one sunny night at a prospecting meeting over dinner, this "opportunity thing" falls into my lap.  Karma, I say. Chance was knocking and I had to face the difficult decision to go with the heart, or what society expected from me. I guess, psychologically, I had put out into the universe the "heads up" that I wasn't thriving. I felt frustrated and ready for the next adventure in my own story. Over dinner (actually before dinner even came) we were connected. I was confident that she could sense my passion, energy, and drive. Our values and goals were in synergy and it was obvious that I was meant to meet her (thank you for that introduction again). You see, this new role tied in all my past experience working with kids and seniors as well as new businesses. I didn't hold back, like I have done before. I gave her the real goods and presented the "real me", and she continued to identify my knowledge that I could bring to the team. I start next week and it feels like I have a new spring in my step, and again, I have come alive.

My family smiles, supporting me like they always do (even my mom and dad say it is like seeing a new flower blossoming), for which I am ever so thankful. There has been such change over time, and together they ride this rollercoaster with me. Something is pushing me to leave life lessons with my children, and I believe that with their observation of my personal growth (they see me laugh, cry, and I seek their advice), and by me openly sharing, they will receive an insight that many don't have. Some people judge us when we step outside the comfort zone to take risks, and sadly, because of this, many never do.

I can tell you that it is only when I step out of this comfort zone that I feel I am growing. It ain't easy and I admit; I cry, sometimes feel unfocused, and lost with such uncertainty. I trust I am not alone. I also continue to try to figure out why others share words or opinions that are so hurtful, but each and every time, I pull myself out and trust the process, remembering that I am here to make a difference, and that it ain't easy.

We're here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can't shine every day

- Trooper
 

The China Cabinet – a collection of our memories

Many of us have moved through our lives with what was traditionally called the china cabinet, a catchall for treasures collected over a lifetime.    

According to Wikipedia, traditionally, this cupboard or cabinet was made of wood, used indoors to store household objects such as food, crockery, textiles, liquor and to protect them from dust, vermin and dirt. 

My china cabinet also known as the pine hutch, is a product of love and has a story.

My husband and I in our early years of marriage would spend our Sundays exploring the small communities and their architecture of Fergus, Mt. Forest and Shelburne, all towns outside of Toronto on what we called our “road trips”.  One Sunday afternoon we found by accident, a road which led us to a crafter’s studio and furniture designer.  That Sunday, we left Shelburne having designed our own cabinet which later became the first piece of real furniture we owned together. 

24 years later the cupboard is jammed with a collection of items we have accumulated over time.  Filled with treasures including the Christmas Turkey plates and platter, a number of unused glass serving plates, tea cups and saucers left from Aunt Jean and a Pewter tea service from my Grandma.  Also, dishes that were left over from parties (my friend was just reunited with one), half opened packages of napkins, cards, candles, tablecloths, numerous wine glasses, kids treasures and our good china.  Most of the stuff rarely used.

Our good china dishes and the silver serving pieces, gifts from our wedding, are like new despite residing there for almost 24 years. Having grown up in a traditional household, the good dishes were often saved for formal dinner parties and entertaining only.

Well, like in many homes I assume, the unused good china dishes are no indication to the celebrations and parties enjoyed by family and friends!  In fact, our pine hutch front panel once caught fire from a tea light during a roaring Christmas party. The scar still remains.  

I will just ignore that fact that the drawers are stuffed and hard to close, I almost cause a disaster every time I reach for one of those glass dishes and some of that dust has likely been there for the entire time. 

A couple of my favourite pieces found in that old pine hutch include the sticker from a girlfriend that says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” and my grandma’s old ashtray that says “Halitosis is better than no breath at all”.

Hey, why not open up your china cabinet to take a trip down memory lane and celebrate with dinner on your good dishes! 

We can expand and not just in our waist!

I don’t know what happened but things just seem to be spreading out and expanding in my life right now and I don't believe I am alone.   Does anyone else feel like their waist is changing and things are starting to sag or on the upside, their mind is expanding and the opportunities that go with that?! 

It’s like all of a sudden life throws you a lifeline when we are struggling with the reality of midlife, our grown kids leaving the nest, menopause and the realities of financial challenges or health issues. 

Attitude is everything and just being positive might change the world but if not, it can certainly help one cope with the many stresses of life and aging.

Let’s try to find positive ways to make others feel needed, wanted and to help them to draw out the strengths that they have.  Imagine if we all gave more compliments to others every day how attitudes would change in a community and the ripple affect into the world?

We seem to live in such a competitive world and sometimes people forget that compassion and competition need to learn to dance together.

 If you are part of a volunteer organization, a team, a club then take the time to recognize and celebrate those who are contributing but better yet, give responsibilities to those that show the slightest interest in helping out.  We call this opportunity and by sharing, it gives chances to help others so that they can expand out of their comfort zone, into greater knowledge and in the long run, expand their confidence.  

 Extend a hand to someone or simply make the effort to recognize and share a compliment however minor and you might feel your heart expand too. The rewards will be numerous.  Life is much more about giving than receiving.  Go ahead and pay it forward.

Thankfully this expansion life hasn’t just been in my waist but also in my working life.  Expanding into our capabilities and believing in ourselves and others can create incredible new opportunities. I find some of my friends are now brainstorming new businesses, writing blogs (on Hot Pants to Hockey) and finding ways to volunteer and test this new ground.  I smile with pride and try to encourage them. 

These lifelines that we are thrown,  in my opinion,  are simply those people in your lives who care:) 

Unleash Your Dreams for 2012

New Year’s resolutions can be frustrating and in my experience the inability to keep those resolutions is often the source of frustration and negative energy.  So instead I bypass resolutions and choose to think in terms of dreams and vision where I want to be in life.

As boomers or busy moms many of us seem to be trying to find our personal balance (work, family, fitness, fun....) and we often forget about ourselves in this equation! Some have this figured out but for me, I admit that balance is still a work in progress (sometimes feeling guilty to put myself first before my family).  Just like a good compass, when we get lost we need to know where we are going!  I remind myself that before you can even think of taking good care of others (family or aging parents), you need to take care of yourself and the question we need to ask ourselves is “what are we becoming?

Setting dreams allows us to create a vision of where we want to go and structure our steps so we will get there. We can dream at any age without discrimination and they might be the fix we need to get out of a slump or to lead one outside their boundaries or comfort zone perhaps to a new job or to follow their passions through volunteering.
 

I am a dreamer and I push the boundaries and reach for the stars in life and proudly I encourage family and friends to do the same.  I want to continue to have a young playful mind as I go into my 50's.  Having the ability to dream and act on our dreams is one of the most amazing abilities we have and the greatest gift we can give ourselves.   We are in control of creating happiness and success in our own life and I know firsthand that the journey to make this happen is as exciting as achieving an individual dream itself.  The personal change will affect your family, your work and help you to discover your passions or unleash your real character traits! Most people have forgotten how to dream, given up or think their dreams will never become a reality.

My dreams are in pictures and I have used vision boarding to help as my reminders.  Simple words can act as reminders to me.


Vision boarding is like a storyboard to map out or keep your goals top of mind.  Your vision board reinforces your positive images and a process that helps identify areas in your life that are important to you.  It’s like replacing negative self talk with positive self talk or highlighting the positive.

So, as the new year unfolds why not unleash those dreams and whether you consider them resolutions or not, make a list using pictures and figure out the steps you need to get there. 

I want to be the support and the strength to help others as they embark on this journey or at least help others see the possibilities!  Thank you to those who have allowed me to help them become more as they prepare to re-enter the work force and create their own businesses encompassing their own dreams.

Check out  www.unleashdreams.com or pick up The Vision Board – Joyce Schwarz.  Our team at Unleashdreams share a vision of helping others see their possibilities and to help them shape their future.

Cutting the Kelly Christmas Tree

Traditions in our family are incredibly important and something we treasure as a family with everything we have.  As a mom of two grown teens, for me these special rituals were shared with my own family growing up, incorporated later with those from my husband's family resulting in new traditions we created as our own family. 


Cutting down our own christmas tree is but one of those traditions.

Christmas for the Kelly's is not complete without a trek to Langley's Dogwood Christmas Tree Farm - a tradition that we have been enjoying for 14 years.  Thank you to our friends who shared this idea with us. 
 
Year after year, it varied as to what weekend in December we would be able to go. Despite juggling kids' soccer and hockey games, it was our kids who reminded and encouraged us to set the date. The first year Briana went off to university and wasn't able to be with us was hard; I actually felt a hole, but soon learned what being there in spirit really meant.  You see, they too in their own way adopt a sense of tradition, and this year she appreciated the decorations we sent for her own university house (a stuffed santa similar to the one we have, couple of homemade decorations she made and The Night Before Christmas were well received and displayed on her mantle proudly alongside the homemade advent calendar my mom made for her:)

I remember one year we waited so late in the month that we arrived to a "Trees Sold Out" sign. 
I remember one year they stopped allowing dogs in the farm.
I remember one year it was so muddy that the car stunk like a pig pen on the way home.
My favorite year was when it snowed.

Every year we would arrive and wander the fields looking for the perfect tree. It was my husband and son who are meticulous about which is the perfect specimen.  They share this sense of righteousness and we would analyze all prospects until it stood out to us all like a bright star.  The real test then was who got to cut it down - who had earned the right of passage to handle the saw that year?

The day wouldn't be complete without lunch at the Elvis Diner.

It is these types of treasures that we hold onto as a family. I learn more and more each year that the spirit of Christmas isn't in the gift, but in the memories, the warmth, and the love that a family can share together regardless of distance.  It is my wish for every family to share this same special bond that I treasure every day of my life.

Ho Ho Ho!