Trying to Live With No Regrets

Quinn Keast taught us to Live with No Regrets and I listened.

My 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer is no different then the half marathon I signed up for years ago with friends. You see at that time I also thought myself a little out of shape, too heavy to run, excuse excuse excuse...... but guess what, I did it!  I taught myself  that negative self talk won't get you anywhere and since then it rarely dares to talk to me.

Since then I have learned to play ice hockey and have achieved many goals both personally and professionally. Achieving such is not always easy but without goals we stand still. I crave challenge and continuous improvement.

What I loved about my marathon adventure was the chance to train with friends who I also believe may have shared similar self doubts but most importantly we were accountable to one another. I remember those early morning Sunday runs and many we ran with few hours of sleep and sometimes hungover, but we would laugh our way along because we had each other.

Camaraderie is super important to me. It is definitely a reason for my participation in this ride with other like minded wanting to make a difference. 

I am thankful for my kids and my husband who are my biggest supporters and believe in me when I sometimes don't believe in myself. I feel very loved and supported on such new crazy adventures and appreciate when they find humour in such. 

Are you living with no regrets?
The Quinn Keast Foundation

Denise

You can sponsor me here.
http://brainiacscycling.com/profile/denisekelly/

Will any of The Stanley Cupcakes accept the challenge?

Saturday January 12,2013
(To my female hockey team The Stanley Cupcakes I helped start 3+ years ago. A mix of 45 something woman)

Dear fellow Cupcakes and friends,   

I remember the day (and excitement), years ago that I had the opportunity to push my boundaries and step out on the ice with all of you. All of us have come such a long way....

Many of you know that I love to create opportunities to try new things to not only keep life exciting but to prove age is no barrier.  I thrive being around others who can find joy in new accomplishments. 

I am certainly no uber-athlete but I have decided to take this humungous step and join the BC Ride to Conquer Cancer with a great group called the Brainiacs led by David Desrochers whom many of you know. I will be looking for other beginner riders to ride with me (no, I don't even have a road bike yet but started spinning).  No doubt fellow Brainiac/Cupcake Heather will be well off in the distance as I ride along but just having her part of this keeps me in:)

Please consider riding along with me on this team but also showing your support so I know I have others who believe in me and my abilities to finish this. 

I'm actually terrified. 

#4

Support me on my cycling journey to Seattle!

http://brainiacscycling.com/profile/denisekelly/

Denise Kelly

604-786-4047 

Nothing replaces the warmth of human kindness.

“I have nobody. I need someone.”

¾Amanda Todd

FACT:  There are more people on the planet than ever before.

FACT:  People share e-messages within seconds.

FICTION: That we are meaningfully connected.

One of my mentors Sharon MacKenzie wrote this about our changing communities....

Sharon MacKenzie, Victoria BC

Parent, Teacher, Grandmother
Inter-generational Community Advocate

I’m sixty-four years old with three grown sons. I recently gave one an earful because for three weeks we had texted and send random photos. I had not heard the sound of his voice nor sensed the timbre of his tone to know if he was content, harried or healthy. Yes, we were connected, but no, we were not.

Having nobody and needing someone are serious issues that confront two generations¾ young people and older adults. Governments lack sufficient flexibility, funds, and personnel to cure the ill of social disconnection. The answer may be to prevent the debilitating circumstances of social isolation by ‘becoming community’. There is untapped inter-generational power that can build resiliency to heal what ails us. “I have nobody. I need someone.” is not just the call for help of Amanda Todd, it is a call from Canadian society. We as individuals need to stop viewing our neighbourhoods as locations, and start interacting face-to-face within them.

At some time in our lives, each of us will find ourselves alone and isolated as a result of death, divorce, re-location, as a new parent, a reluctant retiree, or as a neglected child. Circumstances of disconnection make us vulnerable. If someone is not there to fill the void within, we may fall victim to depression, addictions, suicide, gangs, or we may turn to cyper-space. But Facebook can be faceless and texts are text without context. Nothing replaces the warmth of human kindness.

Governments and institutions fund programmes that grapple with the complexities of teen bullying, depression, addictions and suicide. Meanwhile at the other end of the age continuum, they fund projects to promote awareness of elder abuse, self-neglect, depression, addictions and senior suicide. In aged and youth, isolation is now a leading health concern. It costs us lives. It costs us money. It causes us despair.

Two generations, opposite ends of the ageing spectrum, both facing astoundingly similar issues, both looking to be empowered and connected. Could working inter-generationally be a winning double-dip?

Canada’s history is proof that generations working shoulder-to-shoulder create resilient community, but now we disconnect generations. We develop paths to efficiently target age groups: seniors in seniors’ facilities, high school students in high schools, middle-age in workplaces, First Nations in Residential schools, pre-schoolers in pre-schools. In disabling inter-generational strength, the middle generation is left to care for both the young and the old. But why not let the young and old together form a coalition of care with each other? Co-participating as age-friendly partners, they can positively address some of the very criteria in which depression, lack of purpose, and isolation are rooted.

Ministries of Education are proposing ‘project based learning’, a community-context approach. We know historically that elder knowledge was revered as part of teaching, tempering, and applauding youthful creativity. Schools and community can once again offer opportunities for building respectful bridges between youth and older adults, an inter-generational stand against ageist attitudes, isolation and bullying. Prevention is the key. It’s easy, cost-effective, and it will work.

Regardless of how much money government hands out, how many dedicated volunteers, how trained staff is, or how strong the family unit, there will never be ‘enough’ to correct all that plagues us within the social milieu. Party politics come and go, families split and move apart, and education and health care run the race between burn out and responding to the myriad of problems in an ever-changing field.

Everything costs more and takes longer, with no promise that funded programs are sustainable. What we do have is children and youth with time on their hands, and a bulging demographic of older adults. We have the people power.

 

It is unfortunate that it took the death of another young person to re-focus our attention on how important kind and respectful face-to-face relationships are to our societal wellbeing. How many more calls for help do we need to hear? As individuals within democracy, we must all take personal responsibility for the solution and act now.

Research shows that purposeful and simple inter-generational activities make positive differences. They bring long-lasting strength to participants who reflect, “I have someone. I do not feel alone.”

 So, what are we waiting for?

One place to start is with excellent resources newly developed by government and not-for-profit in Canada. Check them out at www.intergenerational.ca and then do something.

Contributor

Sharon MacKenzie, Victoria BC
Parent, Teacher, Grandmother
Inter-generational Community Advocate

 250-308-7892   sharonlmackenzie@gmail.com

Happy 50th - I promise not to grow up!

I have recently reached my 50th year and I feel so grateful for so much.  I want to continue to live life with tenacity, to push my boundaries and to continue to find ways to appreciate and live my best life.  I hope I can make a difference in the lives of others and leave my mark while I am here.  I am enjoying a wonderful life with wonderful family around me, it’s just that I can’t imagine falling into a routine during the next 50 years...... 

You see, age is so not a barrier and I have promised myself not to grow up.

 

Seems like yesterday I was playing at the cottage in Collingwood, Ontario with cousins and family swimming, sailing, exploring and creating memories on Georgian Bay.  Understandably, with little concept of just how wonderful that life was, yet I remember it like it was yesterday.  That yesterday was actually 45 years ago which seems like AGES in time.    

It doesn’t feel so long ago that I turned 40 when my husband and friends crowned me Edgemont Idol, an honor to bestow. I remember the costumes. performances and the dancing until the wee hours of the morning (something we are known for).   
Thankfully these costume parties still happen and proud to say, we still dance until the wee hours.

A community gal at heart, I will always try to connect people together (through parties, sports team or community events) and to encourage others to also push their boundaries and to live their best life. For me, it's wanting others to have more.

We know change comes from within and only those with the confidence and courage will move into a life they love.
 

 

 

Then arrives the 50^th – the day I woke with a smile and a heart that was full.  It was as if I had reached a peak and a place whereby I was given permission to actively explore what the world had to offer and to carry on.  Quite weird, but I felt like I was in new shoes, bigger shoes......

A birthday trip to Vegas was in order and it wasn't too hard to convience my girlfriends it was a good idea.  Being around such wonderful friends was an honour and a blast.  The book tells our story.....

Our children are a reflection of us and I am super proud that ours identify with me.  Both are expressive with their words and I have received many treasured cards from each encouraging me and thanking me for helping them to dream big and follow their passions. It became apparent that these expressions were honest and real when I received this homemade birthday card.  

I can’t express my gratitude for such wonderful and humorous messages from my husband, daughter and my son.  You will note, that it appears, our dog Mel is also the centre of my universe. 


I feel grateful for my parents who continue to support me even though my actions sometimes fall outside their comfort zone. My Mom and I share a similar sprit and I have learned much from her.   I sometimes think that she is vicariously living a life alongside with me, always eager to hear the details and share in my joy.





 

And of course, life would be lonely without your best friend(s) walking beside you. 

 

 

 

  

Here’s to another 50 years. Bring it on.....

Just another chapter in my story

Ah yes, it has been some time since I have taken time to myself to sit and write my thoughts in this blog. You see I have been busy. Busy with making challenging and sometimes difficult decisions about my life and my work and how I want to spend my days. Is it age related, do we sometimes feel that we are here to make a difference and the years simply are now passing by too quickly? We have the choice to take control and yes, the great thing is that we have control of our decisions if we can muster up the courage. We are here to carve our path and write our own story. I relate everything to music and the song, "we're here for a good time, not a long time" always resonates with me. I have been known to sing this with friends very loudly with feeling. Music makes me happy.

Whoosh, I had found myself in a space (work space) that provided me with more insight into myself and clearly helped me define what it is I didn't want. I am very thankful for such opportunity to have contributed to this team and even more appreciative of the strong references for my contributions (as if that really matters but in our society, it does).

You see, each of us is very different and what provides us energy and confidence and meaning is found in a variety of ways. For me, my lesson over this past while was reassurance. Reassurance that it is okay to be driven and drawn to others who are big thinkers who have a similar vision and believe their work has meaning. From this past experience, I bounced out stronger and more focused on the next chapter, leaving behind impressions and (hopefully) my positive influence on others (I am sure this work space has returned to calm and quiet). Thank you to one of my new peers there who had the courage to tell me that having met me has left them a changed person, and that they now see fewer barriers to this next stage in their own life. How rewarding. Sadly, all that was needed was someone to believe in their capabilities, and to show appreciation of their work. If you are leading others in this very influential role, consciously welcome input and ideas from your team in order to create a culture that thrives.

Whoosh again, one sunny night at a prospecting meeting over dinner, this "opportunity thing" falls into my lap.  Karma, I say. Chance was knocking and I had to face the difficult decision to go with the heart, or what society expected from me. I guess, psychologically, I had put out into the universe the "heads up" that I wasn't thriving. I felt frustrated and ready for the next adventure in my own story. Over dinner (actually before dinner even came) we were connected. I was confident that she could sense my passion, energy, and drive. Our values and goals were in synergy and it was obvious that I was meant to meet her (thank you for that introduction again). You see, this new role tied in all my past experience working with kids and seniors as well as new businesses. I didn't hold back, like I have done before. I gave her the real goods and presented the "real me", and she continued to identify my knowledge that I could bring to the team. I start next week and it feels like I have a new spring in my step, and again, I have come alive.

My family smiles, supporting me like they always do (even my mom and dad say it is like seeing a new flower blossoming), for which I am ever so thankful. There has been such change over time, and together they ride this rollercoaster with me. Something is pushing me to leave life lessons with my children, and I believe that with their observation of my personal growth (they see me laugh, cry, and I seek their advice), and by me openly sharing, they will receive an insight that many don't have. Some people judge us when we step outside the comfort zone to take risks, and sadly, because of this, many never do.

I can tell you that it is only when I step out of this comfort zone that I feel I am growing. It ain't easy and I admit; I cry, sometimes feel unfocused, and lost with such uncertainty. I trust I am not alone. I also continue to try to figure out why others share words or opinions that are so hurtful, but each and every time, I pull myself out and trust the process, remembering that I am here to make a difference, and that it ain't easy.

We're here for a good time
Not a long time
So have a good time
The sun can't shine every day

- Trooper
 

The China Cabinet – a collection of our memories

Many of us have moved through our lives with what was traditionally called the china cabinet, a catchall for treasures collected over a lifetime.    

According to Wikipedia, traditionally, this cupboard or cabinet was made of wood, used indoors to store household objects such as food, crockery, textiles, liquor and to protect them from dust, vermin and dirt. 

My china cabinet also known as the pine hutch, is a product of love and has a story.

My husband and I in our early years of marriage would spend our Sundays exploring the small communities and their architecture of Fergus, Mt. Forest and Shelburne, all towns outside of Toronto on what we called our “road trips”.  One Sunday afternoon we found by accident, a road which led us to a crafter’s studio and furniture designer.  That Sunday, we left Shelburne having designed our own cabinet which later became the first piece of real furniture we owned together. 

24 years later the cupboard is jammed with a collection of items we have accumulated over time.  Filled with treasures including the Christmas Turkey plates and platter, a number of unused glass serving plates, tea cups and saucers left from Aunt Jean and a Pewter tea service from my Grandma.  Also, dishes that were left over from parties (my friend was just reunited with one), half opened packages of napkins, cards, candles, tablecloths, numerous wine glasses, kids treasures and our good china.  Most of the stuff rarely used.

Our good china dishes and the silver serving pieces, gifts from our wedding, are like new despite residing there for almost 24 years. Having grown up in a traditional household, the good dishes were often saved for formal dinner parties and entertaining only.

Well, like in many homes I assume, the unused good china dishes are no indication to the celebrations and parties enjoyed by family and friends!  In fact, our pine hutch front panel once caught fire from a tea light during a roaring Christmas party. The scar still remains.  

I will just ignore that fact that the drawers are stuffed and hard to close, I almost cause a disaster every time I reach for one of those glass dishes and some of that dust has likely been there for the entire time. 

A couple of my favourite pieces found in that old pine hutch include the sticker from a girlfriend that says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” and my grandma’s old ashtray that says “Halitosis is better than no breath at all”.

Hey, why not open up your china cabinet to take a trip down memory lane and celebrate with dinner on your good dishes! 

We can expand and not just in our waist!

I don’t know what happened but things just seem to be spreading out and expanding in my life right now and I don't believe I am alone.   Does anyone else feel like their waist is changing and things are starting to sag or on the upside, their mind is expanding and the opportunities that go with that?! 

It’s like all of a sudden life throws you a lifeline when we are struggling with the reality of midlife, our grown kids leaving the nest, menopause and the realities of financial challenges or health issues. 

Attitude is everything and just being positive might change the world but if not, it can certainly help one cope with the many stresses of life and aging.

Let’s try to find positive ways to make others feel needed, wanted and to help them to draw out the strengths that they have.  Imagine if we all gave more compliments to others every day how attitudes would change in a community and the ripple affect into the world?

We seem to live in such a competitive world and sometimes people forget that compassion and competition need to learn to dance together.

 If you are part of a volunteer organization, a team, a club then take the time to recognize and celebrate those who are contributing but better yet, give responsibilities to those that show the slightest interest in helping out.  We call this opportunity and by sharing, it gives chances to help others so that they can expand out of their comfort zone, into greater knowledge and in the long run, expand their confidence.  

 Extend a hand to someone or simply make the effort to recognize and share a compliment however minor and you might feel your heart expand too. The rewards will be numerous.  Life is much more about giving than receiving.  Go ahead and pay it forward.

Thankfully this expansion life hasn’t just been in my waist but also in my working life.  Expanding into our capabilities and believing in ourselves and others can create incredible new opportunities. I find some of my friends are now brainstorming new businesses, writing blogs (on Hot Pants to Hockey) and finding ways to volunteer and test this new ground.  I smile with pride and try to encourage them. 

These lifelines that we are thrown,  in my opinion,  are simply those people in your lives who care:) 

Unleash Your Dreams for 2012

New Year’s resolutions can be frustrating and in my experience the inability to keep those resolutions is often the source of frustration and negative energy.  So instead I bypass resolutions and choose to think in terms of dreams and vision where I want to be in life.

As boomers or busy moms many of us seem to be trying to find our personal balance (work, family, fitness, fun....) and we often forget about ourselves in this equation! Some have this figured out but for me, I admit that balance is still a work in progress (sometimes feeling guilty to put myself first before my family).  Just like a good compass, when we get lost we need to know where we are going!  I remind myself that before you can even think of taking good care of others (family or aging parents), you need to take care of yourself and the question we need to ask ourselves is “what are we becoming?

Setting dreams allows us to create a vision of where we want to go and structure our steps so we will get there. We can dream at any age without discrimination and they might be the fix we need to get out of a slump or to lead one outside their boundaries or comfort zone perhaps to a new job or to follow their passions through volunteering.
 

I am a dreamer and I push the boundaries and reach for the stars in life and proudly I encourage family and friends to do the same.  I want to continue to have a young playful mind as I go into my 50's.  Having the ability to dream and act on our dreams is one of the most amazing abilities we have and the greatest gift we can give ourselves.   We are in control of creating happiness and success in our own life and I know firsthand that the journey to make this happen is as exciting as achieving an individual dream itself.  The personal change will affect your family, your work and help you to discover your passions or unleash your real character traits! Most people have forgotten how to dream, given up or think their dreams will never become a reality.

My dreams are in pictures and I have used vision boarding to help as my reminders.  Simple words can act as reminders to me.


Vision boarding is like a storyboard to map out or keep your goals top of mind.  Your vision board reinforces your positive images and a process that helps identify areas in your life that are important to you.  It’s like replacing negative self talk with positive self talk or highlighting the positive.

So, as the new year unfolds why not unleash those dreams and whether you consider them resolutions or not, make a list using pictures and figure out the steps you need to get there. 

I want to be the support and the strength to help others as they embark on this journey or at least help others see the possibilities!  Thank you to those who have allowed me to help them become more as they prepare to re-enter the work force and create their own businesses encompassing their own dreams.

Check out  www.unleashdreams.com or pick up The Vision Board – Joyce Schwarz.  Our team at Unleashdreams share a vision of helping others see their possibilities and to help them shape their future.

Cutting the Kelly Christmas Tree

Traditions in our family are incredibly important and something we treasure as a family with everything we have.  As a mom of two grown teens, for me these special rituals were shared with my own family growing up, incorporated later with those from my husband's family resulting in new traditions we created as our own family. 


Cutting down our own christmas tree is but one of those traditions.

Christmas for the Kelly's is not complete without a trek to Langley's Dogwood Christmas Tree Farm - a tradition that we have been enjoying for 14 years.  Thank you to our friends who shared this idea with us. 
 
Year after year, it varied as to what weekend in December we would be able to go. Despite juggling kids' soccer and hockey games, it was our kids who reminded and encouraged us to set the date. The first year Briana went off to university and wasn't able to be with us was hard; I actually felt a hole, but soon learned what being there in spirit really meant.  You see, they too in their own way adopt a sense of tradition, and this year she appreciated the decorations we sent for her own university house (a stuffed santa similar to the one we have, couple of homemade decorations she made and The Night Before Christmas were well received and displayed on her mantle proudly alongside the homemade advent calendar my mom made for her:)

I remember one year we waited so late in the month that we arrived to a "Trees Sold Out" sign. 
I remember one year they stopped allowing dogs in the farm.
I remember one year it was so muddy that the car stunk like a pig pen on the way home.
My favorite year was when it snowed.

Every year we would arrive and wander the fields looking for the perfect tree. It was my husband and son who are meticulous about which is the perfect specimen.  They share this sense of righteousness and we would analyze all prospects until it stood out to us all like a bright star.  The real test then was who got to cut it down - who had earned the right of passage to handle the saw that year?

The day wouldn't be complete without lunch at the Elvis Diner.

It is these types of treasures that we hold onto as a family. I learn more and more each year that the spirit of Christmas isn't in the gift, but in the memories, the warmth, and the love that a family can share together regardless of distance.  It is my wish for every family to share this same special bond that I treasure every day of my life.

Ho Ho Ho!

I first had the honour of meeting this inspiring woman of 80+ years when I was doing research for a healthy aging event looking for a motivational speaker, who like me, had a passion for living. Since that meeting a couple of years ago when I first spoke with BJ McHugh I believe that our meeting has affected my life and influenced many decisions that I have made on this journey into my next 50 years. She is an outstanding healthy living ambassador and I am proud to call her my friend.



BJ McHugh and Denise 2010



 BJ McHugh, an octogenarian and according to her facebook page is the fastest senior marathoner on earth.  For almost a quarter century she has set  dozens of world age based world records and I often see her out running near my home or enjoying a post run coffee with her running mates at our local village coffee shop.  



BJ always finds time to say hello and to chat and during our last visit she was bubbling with joy about her new book.  You see she has just co- authored a book with Bob Nixon CBC Producer called My Road To Rome which tells her incredible story of life. 

"My Road to Rome tells the story of my life, of how I made the transition from housewife, mother and smoker to world champion. I might be a force of nature, but I do not think I am a freak of nature. Most people over 50 can also enjoy amazing health, fitness and happiness. I tell you how I did it and how other women and men can do it too" states BJ in her book. 





Thank you BJ for making this journey of aging look so manageable and for showing us that age is no barrier.  You see I was involved in gathering some local community Mom's age 45+ to start a female hockey team called the Stanley Cupcakes and continue to empower other Boomers to become more. By sharing your story, I hope to inspire others to lead a more healthy aging lifestyle and to feel encouraged that the new road is worth taking.

A final quote from BJ's book... 

"Everybody is getting older at the same time and everybody always has a new potential.  If you missed being your best when you were young, then remember that every fleeting moment in the future provides you with another opportunity."

Learn more about Betty Jean McHugh's inspiring story at www.myroadtoromethebook.com or follow her on facebook at Fans Of Betty Jean McHugh.

Your fan, Denise

What to be when and if we grow up!

Seems that as we age there are some who evidently have a fire in their belly that starts to grow and a passion to be something before it is too late.  As a boomer myself, I am frequently approached by others who openly acknowledge that they want their work to have meaning and are reinventing themselves and redesigning their work.   Others are choosing to delay retirement for reasons that are unclear but we know our aging workforce is strong.

Boomers and seniors are the fastest growing group and we know that more and more individuals are choosing not to retire for financial and personal reasons and continue to contribute to our society.   Some believe that there are several potential factors at play; the rising levels of personal debt, greater opportunities, shrinking nest eggs, financial fear or maybe simply because they love what they are doing and working gives meaning? 

We know this aging labour force, and those working longer, also carries an implication that more jobs will need to be created to absorb newcomers into the labour force reducing unemployment.  Can we learn from this?  Should we be encouraging our youth to search for more meaningful careers that are in alignment with their personal passions and to believe in the do what you love and the money will follow philosophy?    

At any stage, while many boomers and seniors continue to work and contribute to society, some are indeed finding creative ways to bring financial wealth and recreate and reinvent themselves so that their work is more in line with that fire within.  We see new small businesses popping up and seniors who are consulting.

 If one can’t find this personal alignment and gratification in their work and are looking for more meaningful ways to contribute to society, why not get involved in a community group like a book club, bridge club, wine club, hockey team or with the numerous opportunities to volunteer.  Who knows, maybe involvement in such small support groups might also foster personal growth, build confidence and be the support system we need to help us manage these changes as we age.  We know that positive social connections are important to aging well.

Let’s keep feeding the fire in the belly and encourage and celebrate those who are courageous enough to take responsibility to redesign their next 50 years.

There are no limits to learning

Having recently attended a conference at a local university I noticed it was filled with individuals who were passionate about finding ways to engage their communities to learn. 

The conference was a collection of individuals and educators that came together to promote the benefits of learning and to present a variety of interesting topics lead by highly respected educators from across Canada. The seats were filled with people who were currently enrolled in educational programs, many of them 55+ who had a passion for learning. Some were studying a second language confident that this might keep their brains stimulated and strong.

It became evident that there are many people who clearly believed that learning starts at birth and never stops.  

How do we activate lifelong learners?  Imagine if there were more people who could accept that there was a microcosm of information out there that they didn’t know?  What if more people were open to the possibilities of learning new things or new ways to do something? According to a leader in the field at this university we must first “unlearn to learn”. 

To kickstart learning we must unlearn our fear.

Sometimes we joke that what we learned at an early age has stuck with us and is the foundation for our actions. We have old habits and some of us are very set in our ways. However, as our society changes and we are faced with problems in our families, communities and in our world, we might need to look at learning new approaches.  Maybe what we normally have been doing isn’t working anymore and so we must find a way to work more collaboratively with the willingness to adapt and learn new ways of thinking and perhaps more creatively look at our problems.  We might have to approach a new situation with an open mind so that we can discover new ways to look at problems and to hopefully generate new more effective solutions.

 We all have hidden potential and with support we have the ability and confidence to realize it. Check out TED Talks or local TEDx events which cover a wide range of subjects to foster learning, inspiration and wonder.  They are designed to provoke conversations and learning.

Denise Kelly is a North Vancouver Boomer proudly living with her two children, husband and dog Mel.  She looks forward to sharing stories to motivate others.   Follow her on Twitter @TheBoomerVine or check out www.TheBoomerVine.com.

The Buzz of the Life

Who makes the rules anyway about how we age and move through our next 50 years?  Personally “I want to be all used up before I die” a George Bernard Shaw quote I interpret as “let’s give it our best”.   

It warms my heart to read about aging seniors who are living a full life and getting involved in their community. A social person myself, I also enjoy being around others of like mind, learning and it appears there are lots of us out there who also prefer this buzz of activity.  That might be at the local senior’s center or perhaps the local coffee shop, but any morning both are bustling.

The atmosphere of a local senior centre any morning is enough inspiration to want to start a new hobby or take a class.  Recent stories in the media showcase the “New Age-ing” who work out in seniors exercise parks, enjoy fitness every day, or are taking classes at local universities.  While there is a large bulge of aging seniors enjoying what their community has to offer we must be cognisant that there are others who are not. Recognizing that some people are content to simply enjoy family and close friends and choose not to participate in such buzz, we do however know that there are many others who might be nervous, home bound, financially restricted or challenged by heath issues and have no choice.  Let’s not forget them. 

Community projects are being developed and sponsored by the local health authorities to help increase access, social participation and inclusion of these isolated seniors through volunteer based outreach programs.  Referrals can also be made to community services for additional support.  Some programs begin by building trust with the peer support worker in the clients home through conversation.  This might lead to visiting the buzz of the local senior center or coffee shop eventually wanting to get involved in a community program with others.  

As children of aging parents we too could have these conversations with our parents and see how we might help them engage in their community or explore their wishes.

At any age there are opportunities to get connected to your community but sometimes circumstances merely get in the way. 

Published BC Black Press September 2011

All my life I wanted to be a rock star

All my life I have wanted to be a rock star or the chance to pretend.

The only music I remember in our house growing up was opera, Christmas and the Bee Gee’s. My Dad’s record player sat on a shelf behind the den door where he would stack 10 albums that would play one after the other all Sunday and quite loud whether you liked it or not!

After the arrival of our two kids, one with a solid ear for music and the other a solid leg to sports the music really began.  We always had music playing in the back ground and not just the likes of Raffi but a solid variety of rock and roll, country and mainstream. The kids to this day laugh at the fact that when we have parties the music is so loud they can hear it over at their friends house a block away.  In fact for my 40th birthday my husband crowned me Edgemont Idol and everyone was encouraged to come in costume and to sing or act out their favourite song – best gift ever!

My husband also loves “good music” and he has taught our family to respect the record album.  200 albums hide alphabetically on the top shelf of our coat cupboard in our little tiny rancher (oh and when we have parties the guests get to choose which album they wish to hear – this is called the “record game”).

 Thanks to a friend we found the local School of Rock where my son began piano lessons but quickly got the bug for electric then acoustic guitar and vocals and is now part of a performance band.  The founders name is ironically S. Melody!  She and her passionate teachers teach way more than just musical notes for they encourage and inspire these kids to live their dreams among like minded friends.  Life a family, they are safe to move out of their comfort zone to grow.

Watching our son on stage playing in his band singing vocals to songs from artists he loves is as good for me as being that rock star.  He has gained the love of music and he treasures his collection of concert tickets from some of those favourite artists that he and his Dad have enjoyed from the likes of Neil Young, The Who, ACDC, John Fogerty, Eric Clapton with many more planned. 

Living vicariously  through my son I am that rock star.

Denise Kelly is a North Vancouver Boomer proudly living with her two children, husband and dog Mel.  She looks forward to sharing stories to motivate others.

Originally published Black Press 2010