Don’t tolerate what steals your energy!

Ali Davies has been writing about her philosophy of “Design Your Life. Redefine Your Work” and it is a great resource for those of us who are in the depths of creating work that is based on our value and choosing to participate on teams that share such.

“You definitely want to create lasting change to live and work on your own terms based on your values, your own definition of success and what is most important to you.” Ali Davies

Years ago, a mentor friend of mine helped me grasp the tools needed to handle confrontational situations in a more controlled manner with less emotion.  You need to pull yourself out of the situation and take time to gather your thoughts and courage to dive back in. 

Maybe others too know the feeling when someone in power tries to control you by manipulating the conversation and the situation.  In my house early on, it was the strong father role (whom BTW was amazing) but he grew up an only child, so he parented “his way or the highway”.   No physical punishment but mostly emotional control, which I didn’t know existed and would affect my relationships, until early adulthood. 

I was recently in a situation that was manifesting over time and I saw was becoming a trend.  I knew that my balance was off and that my core values were being challenged.  That is a big red flag for me to regroup and evaluate things.  Similar situations have happened before which I believe were presented as learning opportunities, which I have turned around. 

Ali speaks about tolerating what doesn’t serve you.  In this case putting up with and tolerating gets in the way of how you really want to show up.  It drains your energy and wastes your time. 

I dove in full force with confidence, initiating the conversation and presented the facts and how the situation was evolving.  I kept my calm and after much heated discussion we were back on a positive productive track.  Thankfully there was a sense of openness and maturity with the other party whom I do respect, so that we were able to find clarity and move on.

This is how my passion shows up.  I can’t let things ride.  It is liberating to take control and move through situations like this and I hope everyone has the courage to do similar.

Check out Ali Davies and her online program Clear the Decks for Success. 

Hate to say it, but the title “Beer By The Pier” caught my attention!

Living in a community that I love, I often feel that I am selfishly isolated in my own little world.  I am raising a family, trying to be a good wife, supporting my aging Mom and taking care of myself as I move into my next 50.  Like many we are also trying to earn a living to support our lifestyle in a very challenging/expensive and quickly changing world.  We pick our friends who share similar values and in my house, we make time to laugh, keeping us connected and reducing the stress in our lives.   We donate to those who knock on our door and support various charities to fight cancer.

We hear local stories about those fighting with homelessness and suffering with mental illness and addiction and other real life changing problems.  It is splashed over social media and in our local community paper.  We see pictures of grand events such as black tie fundraising galas and other high ticket events,  where people have donated $1,000 + to attend.  It all leaves me feeling hollow and frustrated that I never could find a way to offer to help support those families in need in my own community.  I sometimes honestly felt that only the rich were making a difference in the lives of those suffering.

Then up popped an invitation to 1^st Annual Beer by the Pier event in September via email.  In support of Family Services of the North Shore, tickets were reasonable and the venue caught my eye!  Beer tasting-Adam Woodall Band-Smoke & Bones BBQ at a trendy, hip venue at the restored Pipe Shop at historic Shipbuilders’ Square.  Our tickets were donations themselves.

Talk about tapping into a new demographic, Family Services you have succeeded!

Thank you for opening up my eyes to the opportunities available to help support those by raising funds in an enjoyable way.  I was thrilled to see so many others from my community whom crossed our similar demographic and together we reunited for a great cause. 

Family Services of the North Shore, in my opinion your event was a success.  You drew in my demographics of boomers who are searching for ways to support the families and those suffering in our own community.  After all, some of those are our friends and neighbours who might be suffering in silence.

Sign us up for next year.

As a result of the event, I myself am meeting up with the North Shore Neighbourhood House one of your affiliates, to see how I can give back here in my treasured community of North Vancouver.